My Top 5: Final Girls

A main component of any Slasher movie is the Final Girl, shes the one that makes it all the way through the slashing and the stalking, usally, but not always, the reason for the stalking and slashing, but sometimes she's just the by stander thrust into the role.

Shes the one with the smarts and the brains, she can outwit the killer, whilst all her friends around her are dropping like flies, shes smart enough to arm herself in some way, or do the research, she can find a way to get to the killer before he can get to her, shes resourcefull and resliant but most of all shes a fighter, she refuses to go out without a bang, she WILL fight to end even if it kills her, but ulitmatly it doesnt and she may be the sole surviour or she has someone else to rely on in the end, but she's always the stand out with her "don't-fuck-with-me" attitude and her relateablilty.

In the early 80's it was all about being the sweet innocent virginal Final Girl, in the 90s they followed this same trend pretty much the same through slasher flicks, as was with the 00s, but slowly but surely they became less about sweet innocent virginal, to more of a tough girl with a generally harsh back story, or something happening within the movie that forces them into fight or flight mode, and trust me when i say THESE GIRLS WILL FIGHT !!!

SO here it is, my top 5 FINAL GIRLS !!

#5 - Ginny Field, Friday The 13th Part II (Played by Amy Steel)

Ginny: Come to mama.

Friday The 13th Part II has got to be one of my faves (apart from the constantly trashed Jason Takes Manhatten Friday the 13th) but its really my favourite cause of Amy steels performance and Final Girl Ginny Fields (Thou i do love also Jenson Daggats performance as Final girl Rennie in Jason Takes Manhatten) There is something about Ginny thats very typical Final Girl, she's sweet typically pretty she dresses oppropriatly and just look at that flowing locks of blonde hair, but also Ginny isnt the typical 80s final girl either which i find adheres her to aduiances alot as well, she's not typically virginal, she has sex in the movie (if i remember correctly, i haven't watched part 2 in awhile) but she is also in a steady relationship.

I find she is the 'put upon' final girl in no other reason then the fact that she kinda steps it up, she does all the 'right' things to a certain degree and she runs and screams like most girls but shes not always so 'stupid' about it that sometimes i find can be so gratting and hard to watch when a girl is running around screaming with her blouse flying open or completely butt naked, mind you on some of those occasions if i were Jason Vorhees i'd wanna stab them good a proper too for acting like such ninny's !!!

But i digress here, what i find is so memorable and what gives Ginny the number 5 spot on my list is those final moments in the movie, the last chase scenes and the show down between Ginny and Jason (look away now in case you haven't seen the movie cause SPOILERS AHEAD) She is the very typical final girl for me because she's smart and she uses her brain, and whilst she is FREAKED OUT like most people would be at the fact there are dead bodies everywhere and all her friends are dead, shes NOT going down without a fight.

And in a pivotal moment when she stumbles upon Jasons lear and his shrine to his dead mother (Pamlea Vorhees who is the orginal Killer in the first Friday movie) she shakingly picks up the jumper of Pamelas and pulls it on, thus convinving Jason that she's his mother and soothing him into dropping his gaurd, its a moment in movie history that i believe endeared her to FT13 fans everywhere, she uses her smarts and her will power to outsmart the killer, whilst Jason is touch and strong Ginny is just as tough and strong.

She fights back with gutso and in the end triumphs over a hulking killer like Jason who has super human strength, she's just an average pretty blonde girl, whos not so typical Final Girl, but still is the PERFECT Firday The 13th Final Girl, in lots of blogs and reviews i've read around she is one of the most popular final girls so its easy to understand why she's on my list !! just like everyone elses.

Side Note: Amy Steel also starred in Slasher flick April Fools Day (1986)

#4 - Julie James, I know what you did last summer/I still know what you did last summer (played by Jennifer Love Hewitt)

Julie: Why would he try to run you over? Why did he make coleslaw on Helen's head? He's fucking with us! He's just out there, and he's watching and waiting!
[screaming to the killer]
Julie: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, HUH? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOOOOORRRR?

I know what you did last summer and I still know what you did last summer came out in the pinnicle of the Scream days, its noted that Scream and IKWYDLS are the films of the 90's that somewhat revived the slasher genre after the late 80s saw a drop in theatre releases for Slasher flims (alot of stuff bewteen the late 80's and early 90s slashers where straight to VHS/DVD and not very good).

Julie is the typical final girl again, at the start when they run over the guy and barry makes the decision to bury their secret shes admanet they not do this and go straight to the police, Barry basically bullies her into keeping the secret, and thus elevates Julie into become Final Girl a year later. what i liked so much about Julie, is the fact that A) she is played by the gorgeous Jennifer Love Hewitt who was a massive pull card for this movie with people hoping and praying to see her topless on the big screen (which to disappointment to most she didn't, but they did a good cleveage ariel shoot when shes screaming in the middle of the road) which then brings me to B) the fact that it gets to the point where she finds a dead body in the trunk of the car after Barry is almost run off the road and Helene has her chopped up while shes sleeping, that Julie just absolutly SNAPS and starts screaming in the middle of the road.

Also she is the typical Smart and resourceful Final girl, she doesnt just lie back and take it she goes into investigative mode, tracking down every piece of evidence she can about the guy they killed Last Summer !!! she also becomes the typical fighter in end when Helen and Barry are both dead and she's left with Ray who basically if i can recall correctly just seems to lumber around and get knocked out in the end, and is really of no real help to Julie, she fights the killer to the death on her own and over comes him in the end.

She's defiantly not a popular final girl and as i can note shes not really on anyones Final Girl List, so i think its time she got a bit of recognition, Jennifer Love Hewitt acts well, thou in I still know what you did last summer, she makes some stupid decision in the process of escaping the killer again, but she still has the essential something about her that makes me love her and root for her, i guess it helps that shes so damn good looking on screen, and just like all the good final girls she fights, while her friends in the first just want to ignore the situation and pretned nothing is wrong she takes control of the situation as best she can trying to get everyone to listen and understand that somethings not right, she was peer pressured into it by Barry and its also comforting to see he's gone nowhere a year later, while she'd managed to go off to collage and try make something of herself.

So thou she's not a popular Final GIrl, i think she's owed a bit of kudos for being the fighter she is and using her smarts the way she does and fighting her damn hardest to save her friends and then fights to the death to save herslelf !!!

Side Note: Jennifer Love Hewitt has played a multitude of charactors through out her career mostly noted for her role tv shows Party of Five and Ghost whisperer, she has really done many other slasher flicks aside from IKWYDLS and ISKWYDLS

#3 - Sydney Prescott, Scream 1,2,3 & 4 (Played by Neve Campbell)

Sidney Prescott: You forgot the first rule of remakes. Don't fuck with the original!

I honestly believe you cannot have a List of Final Girls without having Sidney Prescott in their somewhere, i mean look at HOW MANY TIMES she has survived, shes beaten a count of SEVEN psychotic killers wanting to stab her numerous time, she's suffered the god awful plotting that was scream 3 she is smart and resourceful and by scream 4 she is literally a take no shit final girl, she started out the meek mild sweet innocent Final Girl in the first scream, and as it progressed each time someone came for her she outwitted them to the point of being victor.

People wanna kill this girl bad, but she ain't gonna take that crap, and thou she had help from loveable Officer Dewey and Bad Ass reporter Gale Weathers, it was really just her and the killer in a final show down alone, and she out smarted them EVERY TIME! which makes you ask why did people keep going after her SURELY they'd see after 2 or 3 times, bitch ain't going down she will kill you and she will kill you good !!

It not usual to get the same final girl through out a series, just look at the multitude of final girls in the friday the 13th movies, or nightmare on elm street, even the wrong turn movies have a different Final Girl each movie, i guess it really all does depend upon the actress if she wants to come back or if the director even wants to bring her back, but this is what i most enjoy about the scream movies especailly the first and the fourth one, you look at sidney at the start, she seems to meek and mild like she could never hurt anyone, but forced into it as she is in the end with everyone out for the count she's left to take on two psychotic killers all on her own and pushed through to triumph by the fourth time shes so tough and hard shes not scared of anyone or anything, faced down with killer as she is in the end she make all the right moves and defeats them in the end too, if they ever make a fifth one i would actually like to see them turn sidney into the killer, i mean come on after how many attempts on your life, your bound to snap right !!

but honestly she is strong sincere and tough, your rooting for her all the way to number 4, you ponder if maybe they are ready to kill her off and BAM she triumphs again, its even alluded to in scream 3 that ANYONE can die and ALL BETS ARE OFF, but she still pushes through and thank god cause then we got the delicious morsel that is Scream 4, there are a number of victums that come and go within the scream movies, most that if you watch carefully make the genral mistakes that will ultimatly lead to your death, though sidney in her numerous run in with the masked killer has made a few of these mistakes shes smart enough to also be aware of her surroundings and fixes one mistake with brillance and smarts, though in one point she may run up stairs (which endlessly has me tearing my hair out in these movies) she still counteracts this but barracading herself in her room so the killer cant get in, she uses her COMPUTER to contact 911 instead of screaming pointlessly down a phone.

and on numerous occasions when the killer calls her she doesnt just whimper down the phone she bites back and him, challenging him, and in the final show downs she's witty in her banter with the killer, she shows spunk and i wont back down to you attitude, i really do adore her, so why is she not number 1 you ask, well that takes us to the #2 spot !!!

#2 Jessie Burlingame, Wrong Turn (Played by Eliza Dushku)

Jessie: Carly, look at me, OK? Scott died protecting us. We need to keep ourselves alive, or it was for nothing. OK? We're all in this together, Carl. Come on.
Carly: [whimpering] I want him back.
Jessie: I know, I know. Carl, look at me, OK? Look. We're gonna stay alive. We're gonna get out of this. We're gonna get out of these woods, we're gonna find the police and we're gonna make sure those motherfucks are punished for this. OK?

For a long time the scream movies where like my little slasher security blankets, I'd wanna curl up at night with sidney prescott around knowing if any psychotic killers came a knocking she'd be right there while i laughed in the face of danger, then ran a hid till it went away, but then an odd little movie called wrong turn came out in 2003 and its little draw card for me was Eliza Dushku on the front cover, now i find the Wrong Turn movies tend to have their final girls on the front cover, and let me tell you if you thought sidney prescott was on tough cookie, Jessie is just as bad ass and dealing with cannibals that wanna eat her for their main course !!!

its hard to chose between Jessie and my number 1 final girl, they are both very dear to my heart and i like to think they went on to live happy lives away from Hillbillie Hell !!! Jessie is the orginal wrong turn final girl, and she is by far the less whiney of them, thou their really is only 2 main final girls, and one accidental final girl, but jessie get amped up as the movie goes along, she feel responsible for the death of her friends and refuses to let it all be in vain, she wants these cannibals to pay and pay she does make them.

Bloodied bruised and battered running around unknown woods that the cannibals know like the back of their misshapen deformed hands, shes smart and resourceful like all my final girls should be !!!! she gets hell bent on revenge like i said she feels responsible for the death of her friends, she was the reason they where out in the middle of nowhere in the first place, but instead of this turning her into to some whimpering idiot like her friend Carly becomes, shes pushed into being a fight refuses to go down with out a fight and letting a bunch of backwards Hillbillies win !!!

she has help in the form of Chris who is the stronger one from the beginning i think was the main focus as 'final' charactor but there is something about Jessie by the end she hasnt given up she doesnt sink into disspear when all her friends are dead, she fights along side Chris and fights hard, though if i do remember correctly Chris ultimatly defeats the last Hillbillie standing (or so they think) but she's still just as resourceful as Chris is !!!

she's the kind of final girl that once you've watched Wrong Turn as much as i have you know she's one tough cookie shes beautiful and smart and resourceful she's everything that makes a final girl A FINAL GIRL!!!

And so we come to the number 1 final girl...

#1 - Nina Papas, Wrong Turn 2 (Played by Erica Leerhsen)

Jake: Nice ride. You want to take it for a spin?
Nina Papas: Why not? It's the least this fucked up family owes us.

"Why her" i hear you screaming, possibly turning off your computers in disgust never to return to my page again, well not calm down and hear me out, to be honest with you i didn't like Nina charactor when i first saw Wrong Turn 2, she was rude and mean and harsh, she seemed like a nobody bitch that would get killed off early, but i was wrong (turn).

whilst she does have her pitfalls as a final girl, and most people wouldn't even think about her let alone rate her a mention, she's different, and its only just recently in re watches of number 2 that this movie has become my favourite movie as you'd have read in my previous review (I mean come on Hillbillie wearing a dead guys scalp on his head like a tupee aside) she really is the typical resourcefull final girl, she's tough on the inside whilst she is very fragile and trying to work through alot of things, thinking a stint on a reality show to win enough money to free herself up from the debut her ex-douchbag boyfriend left her in after cheating on her with one of her friends, shes a little broken and shes not all that TYPICAL Final Girl, she's not sweet and innocent and virginal, she's harsh and broken and wrong in all her own ways, she adheres to ME so well because SHE IS ME!!! she's so damaged that she wanted to die but in the face of death with all her fears and insecurities shes IS TOUGH and she IS A FIGHTER !!

She hunted and chased through the woods endlessly, and when she is captured by the Hillbillies they DON'T kill her instead imprison her in a cage like a PET she watches in horror as all her dead friends are chopped up and throwen into a giant pot of human parts stew, she gets knocked out and then strapped into a chair with barb wire to be force fed said human stew !!! she watches and nice guy Jake is tied and jabbed at with a knife, bleeding mildy but not enough to kill him, she is rescued by tough as nails army guy Dale only for him to die saving her and jake, which leaves them left standing, and as Jake gets caught in a final show down between mumma and pappa Hillbillie, Nina makes a run for it, at this point in orginally watching the movie i was sooooooooo mad at her i mean come on she was going so well up until that point and then to just leave nice guy jake like that, but thank god she came barrelling back in and helped Jake over come those damn cannibals to ride of into the sunset in a nice shiney red ferrari.

she seems to scattered to begin with and its hard to understand her with first viewing, its once you KNOW her back story that you start to feel for her and it takes re viewings and watching her in the beginning AND knowing her back story that she makes sense and after a few watches i started to go OMG SHE'S ME !!! she's exactly the kind of final girl i would be, scattered and seeming kinda of weak, most people would look at me just like they look at her and go, she's just a damn rude bitch who will die off quickly, till you find out more about her and you watch her grow and become this new person, story and smart and resourceful the moment she comes barrelling back into save Jake after she's run away you see that look in her eyes, and she's the Final Girl she was always meant to be,

she over comes her weakness and her fear of death, she realizes she wants to live and fights to the damn end to be there and to be alive !! and her co- final pilot in Jake helps to, he does alot of the tough fighting in the end and he does over come the Hillbillies in the end because Nina comes back, but he's greatful of her and understanding of her, even when she is such a bitch to him in the beginning, and this is why i love her so much because SHE IS ME !! and you want her to succeded and over come everything and to be that smart resourcful Final Girl !!!

Side Note: Erica Also stared in The Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 and The Texas Chainsaw Massacure remake (2003)

So there you have it, my low down of my top 5 Final Girls, they are an intergrul part of any slasher movie, that someone you can relate to see yourself in his or her shoes, you cry you laugh and you fight right there with them, thats what makes them FINAL GIRLS !!!

(Honurable Mentions go to: Gale Weathers, Scream 1,2,3,& 4 (Played by Courtney Cox) Though not a main Final Girl she is co-pilot to Sidney Prescotts Final Girl and she is pretty kick ass. Clay Miller, Friday The 13th (2009) (Played by Jarad Padalecki) he's not a Final 'Girl' but he makes a verrrrrrrry suitable Final Boy, plus THOSE ARMS !!! i mean come on. Laurie Strode, Halloween 1&2, H20 and ressurection, (Played by Jamie Lee Curtis) one of the very first slasher flicks, making her one of the very first Final Girls, she is everything that is typical of a final girl !!)

WRONG TURN = HILLBILLIE HELL !!!!

I ask you, there has got to be a point in a franchise of movies where you go, WTF??!??!!! like how many people are going to keep going to camp crystal lake before they listen to the crazy old kook who tells the 'DON'T' thus brings me of course to one of my favourite movie franchises, WRONG TURN !!! from the first one in 2003 to the fourth movie in 2011 and the soon to b but not yet watched fith to be realesed at the end of this month, i find myself watching and going WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN TO STICK TO YOUR PLANNED ROUTES, yelling at the tv at the idiots running around the woods being chased by hillbillies, hey your in THEIR territory after all, and a Hillbillies gotta eat just like the rest of us, and its a hard life for an in bred freak, nobody loves ya enough lord knows who your mother/brother/sister/father/lover is !!!

 

Honestly by the foourth movie, i was rooting for the hillbillies, the movies just get worse and worse as they make them, and yet i find the endearing they all have that little something, that shine, that same ol same ol, kind of like the blanket you carried around with you everywhere you went, or that stuffed animal that you just could NOT be without, thats what wrong turn is to me, a security blanket of sorts for my horror/slasher fascination, so here i will do a quick review of the four movies as a whole starting with....

 

WRONG TURN (2003)

Chris: Thank you, take care.
Old Man: You're the one who's gonna need to take care.

Ah, original Wrong Turn how i love thee, let me count the ways, sometimes i like to think they made this little gem of a movie JUSTTTT for me, i know im selfish how could it just be for me and not be allowed to be shared with the world, lol sorry i know i'm talking shit right now, but this movie has been a favourite of mine for as long as i can remeber, its nearly 10 years old and its still AMAZING, but before i gush anymore, let me go on by telling you about the story.

 

 

It all starts with mountain climbers in the woods getting killed by an unseen something in the woods, shesh harsh really !!! then we get to meet chris who is on the freeway and gets stuck in a traffic jam, late for a job interview he decideds to take and ulternate rount, e.g a WRONG TURN, dum dum dummmmm, this 'alternate route' is surrounded by thick dense woods on either side and is really just a dirt road, whilst trying to change the CD in his car he takes his eyes of the road and plows straight into a parked car in the middle of the dirt road, i mean seriously even if ya THINK no one else is gonna come along who leaves a damn car stopped in the middle of the road.

 

anyyyyyyway both cars are damaged enough to be unuseable, thus leading 3 of the people from the car Jessie (played by the deliciously gorgeous Eliza Dushku) the sulky Carly and her BF Scott and Chris on a search to find a phone (beacue ya know woods an all no cell reception) and some form of help, Thus leaving beind the other two from the parked car Evan an Francine who stay back and smoke pot and have sex and then of course DIE!!! and from that point on its a race against time for the others who slowly but surely realize somethings not right in them there woods !!!!!

 

i loved this movie from the get go, i'm pretty sure i've seen it a thousand times over and them some. I love Eliza Dushku cause she can act the pants off ANYTHING i mean come on a cheerleader in Bring it on, Rouge slayer in Buffy to bad ass Final Girl in Wrong Turn, you root for these guys to live, especially as the movie goes along and you learn all about Jessie and her friends and why they are out in the woods, that her friends just wanted to cheer her up after a bad break up, only to lead themselves into death and peril, making Jessie feel guilty that she's gotten all her friends killed, but instead of being a whiney put upon final girl, she has a cry and then gets all bad ass im gonna take out these hillbillie freaks if its the last thing i do, Chris kinda ends up a co-final person, thou i dont really think he does much through out the movie, hes tough and he helps Jessie pull it together, and they both fight hard for survival, but i didn't think there was much to him or his charactor, he was just on the way to a job interview, so it doesn't really tug at your heart strings the way Jessie charactor does.

 

 

The first Wrong turn isnt as in your face gory as the rest of them become to be, this one really is trying to tell a creepy story about backwards freaks in the woods, they set up a kill or be killed atmosphere by the end, theres still alot of gross moments, like when the 4 hiking through the woods stumble upon a shack in the middle of the woods and decided to investigate for a phone, they realize they've stumbled upon the Hillbillies home, and whilst they are inside the Hillbillies return, forcing them all to hide within the house and watch as their they left behind at the car are dead, the body of Francine is dumped on a table and the four watch as the hillbillies hack off her leg, its a gut wrenching scene watching as Jessie Carly and Scott are forced to stay quiet and watch their friends be mutilated for food.

 

They escape but not before the Hillbillies spot them, and a chase ensues through the woods, leading to all but Jessie and Chris's deaths, the mood is set well, the stumbling upon the hundreds of cars in a field, that show these freaks have been at it a long time, the climbing into tress and the Hillbillies setting them on fire to get them, hiding beind a water fall, a tender moment between Jessie and Chris after all of Jessies friends are dead and he swears to protect her, getting to the tower only to be burnt down, your on the edge of your seat praying that Jessie and Chris will be the ones to make it out alive, that he keeps his word to her, they finally thwart the Hillbillies in their own home, and walk away stealing the hillbillies van and taking the dirt road back the gas station in the star of the movie, but all is not lost my dear friends for our fun loving hillbillies wont godown that easily and arise for a blood spattered sequeal in...

 

Wrong Turn 2:Dead End (2007)

 

Nina Papas: Birth defects? No shit.
[looking at a barrel of toxic waste that reads may cause birth defects]

This has GOT TO BE my favourite of the franchise so far, theres so much to this one, yet so verrrrrrrrrrry little to it at all, the set up is amazing, a bunch of people are out in the middle of nowhere shooting a new reality show about a post-apocolypic world of survial, i mean come on how cool does that sound all on its own, throw in their real fight for survival and it still sounds good, but throw in my probably tied number one spot for a final girl, one of my all time FAVOURITE Hillbillie moment in any movie EVERRRRRRR and some extra sprinkles of crazy Hillbillies that are really a family just like you and me, only the brother and the sister are also lovers.

 

 

So we start with spoiled actress Kimberly calling her agent and bitching at him for getting her stuck out in the middle of nowhere for a staring role on this new reality show bitching at her agent she cant understand his directions when she comes to what she THINKS is the right way to go and her agent makes a retort about "not being able to afford to take a WRONG TURN" she huffs at him some more turns down the road and procceds to lose cell reception then accidently hits someone, who turns out to be a hungry hillbillie who LITERALLY bites her lower lip and chin CLEAN OFF her face, as she stumbles away and trys to run is SURPRISE another hillbillie appears and cuts her CLEAN IN HALF !!!

 

Then we get to met everyone else, theres all the crew members that form the producer and camera guys ect. The theres the second best charactor in a movie ever the ex marine and host of the show Dale Murphy who is so freaking kick ass, even in his dying moments hes giving shit to the Hillbillies he goes all commando on their asses and theirs a point in the movie that lead to my ALL TIME FAVE HILLBILLIE MOMENT, Dale is hanging upside down and regains conciousness and watches as one of the hillBillies scalps one of the dead crew man and wears his scalp and tuft of attached hair like a tupee (cue me laughing hysterically) the hillbillie turns around and giggles like a crazy person does and proceeds to jab and Dale as he hangs upside all the while He's STILL wearing the scalp like a tupee !!!!!

 

(Seriously just look at him, Tupee of dead guy scalp on his head ! its like a bad line from the song Mr burns sings about making lisa and Barts puppy's into a tuxedo)

but i've gone to far ahead here already, there's also the troupe of contestants including my fave final girl Nina, now at the start nina just did my head in she seemed like a whingy whiny sulky bitch, she was mean to everyone even nice guy Jake who wants to help her out from the start but she blows him off rudely, theres of course the slutty chick Elena who gets naked just because some yelled roll camera, who gives the director/producer head/sexes him up for prime camera time, only to proceed to sunbath nude whilst the young male hillbillie watches her the whole time getting his jollys, till hes discovered by hillbillie sister/girlfriend who gets mad that he's attracted to someone like Elena which leads to the sister/girl friend going absolutly nuts and chopping her to pieces.

 

it goes on like this through out the movie, weird interactions between charactors theres the Lesbian/ex marine Amber the typical douchbag guy Jonesy who wont SHUT UP about anything to do with sex or the female body, but their death scene when they are strung up in trees side by side and Jonsey lets his emotinal side show and Amber finally lets herself warm to him telling him its okay till they are skewered both clean through the eye, then theres the production assistant Mara who ends up taking the spot of kimberly in the game when she doesnt 'show up' (clearly cause she's a tad bit DEAD) Mara tends to go the way of the emotinally sickening female charactor that acts all weak and dismissive and doesnt want to do anything and thinks she's a loser and not good enough, and in the end gets and axe to the head, thou in the beginning you think that it'll be either her or Nina or both of them as final girls, but Mara actually gets killed of quite early on.

 

there is so much going on in this movie really, charactors get whittled down harshly and quite nastily by the Hillbillies, Dale is also in another funny scene where he stumbles on the old man from the gas station in first movie who turns out to actually be the father of ALL the Hillbillies, and Dale ends up blowing him to pieces, hes tough commandery and hell bent on taking out every damn last on of the hillbillies he can, Nina and Jake are the last ones left in the end, they are captured by the Hillbillies Nina is caged like a pet the barb-wired to a chair at dinner time, till Commando Dale comes along blowing up the kids, sending Mummy and Puppa Bear Hillbillies into a rage, mumma bear Hillbillie takes out commando guy with like a bunch of arrows and then its left up to Nina and Jake to kill the hillbillies and escape, stumbling upon and ferrari (the car the Kimberly was driving in the beginning of the movie) and drive out of dodge.

 

I HATED Nina as the final girl to start with, she was mean to Jake she was a bitch to Mara and she basically ignored everyone else, but then she slowly starts unravelling thorught the course of the movie, and then by the end when she goes to run and save herslef and your life YOU BITCH i was starting to like you and you go leave Jake to die !!!!!!! and just when your ready to give up on her she comes charging back in saves Jake and toegther they off Mumma and Pappa Hillbillie and ride off into the sunset, and then when i've been back for numerous re watches of the movie, i realize her charactor has been built harsh but really shes a fighter and she does whatever it takes to survive and she's so used to having to look after herself shes so gaurded against letting anyone else in to help her, espcially some guy like Jake who to Nina was probably just another pretty boy jock !!, and then i realize shes sooooooooooooo like me and that she wont go down without a fight and in the end she will do the right thing, and she does and she survives cause she IS a fighter !!!

 

(Nina (played by Erica Leerhsen) Tough girl i aint gonna take your shit, i'ma gonna f*ck you Hillbillies up best Final girl EVER)

 

(Hillbillie Tupee buy yours now at the nearest backwoods cabin !!!!!)

 

Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead (2009)

 

Tagline: What you dont see will KILL you

 

Thus brings us to number 3, Left for Dead, and here its not just those damn hungry in bred cannibals to look out for !!!, in the opening scenes we see two couples river rafting who find a nice place to stop for the night setting up camp the boys go off to find fire wood, the girls chat a moment one girl calls another girl a slut when she flashes her tits at the camera (bitch has a point !!) slutty girlfriends Bf comes back as bitchy girl wanders into the woods as Slutty girl and boyfriend start to get intimate, hand groping naked boob, boob is skewered by large pointy stick Death ensues, crazy cannibals dance, bitchy girl witnesses all bitchy girls boyfriend gets nice and dead as well as slutty girls boyfriend too ! bitchy girl runs screaming into the woods...

 

 

bringing us to patrol officer Nate, who works in a prison on his last shift cause hes beenaccepted into law school, well shit that right there screams your a dead man no one gets out of a job on their last day alive especially if your in a WRONG TURN movie !! so basically a bunch of fellons are being moved, and all have decided to move them early because theirs whispers throughout the prison of a break out blah blah its really a boring set up, they change the route send nate and another officer with them, drivey drivey along changed route stop at a sheriffs cabin met sherif and his deputy (set them up just to be Hillbillie lunch) we discover the Nate was actually a local and grew up on the area, after a slight rest everyone piles back in the bus and awaaaaay we go, bus is run off the road by a random truck, presumed to be the guys trying to break out Fellon Carlos out, bus crashes and craziness ensues.

 

This movie is honestly SHIT it doesnt get good reviews and its honestly bad if you want to watch a well put together movie with a well written script, most of the movie is at night so its dark alot of the time, so it was even hard for me to get good screen caps from the movie, there is honestly not great plot to this movie, but you know what i love about it, it pits some bad assss criminals/murders against some crazy Hillbillies !!! Carlos is bossy and nasty and will kill you in and instant he shots Nates friend and fellow officer in the head point blank, they find and old OLD OLLLLLD security truck FULLLL of cash (why the Hillbillies just didnt take the money and buy a big ass mansion and REAL food and leave use peeps alone is beyond me !!!) so carlos makes everyone take a bag each, theres the sympythetic criminal who is adment right till the very end he didnt kill that guy, theres the under cover officer who gets the front of his face chopped off by a HUGEEEEE axe, and then theres bitchy girl who literally runs into Nate and said criminals !!! Hazaaah she survived, and she's actually not that bitchy, she gets put through the ringer with the criminals who wanna basically rape and kill her themselves, but she stays hard and sticks by Nate.

 

honestly my fave moments of this movie really are the criminals agaisnt the Hillbillies they fight just as hard and mean as the Hillbillies but there really isnt ANYTHING else of worth in this movie, charactors are so so, bitchy girl isnt so bad by the end and you really are rooting for Nate to get away, but seriously there are only TWO Hillbillies in this movie against like 6 criminals Two gaurds and one girl thats managed to survive hiding in the woods till dark, i mean COME ON the Criminals over power the young Hillbillie and behead him for the other guy to find, leading him to lose his shit cause they've killed his son, theres a good fight moment between last standing Hillbillie and Criminal mastermind Carlos they fight it out hard but Hillbillie wins in the end, basically it take Nate and Bitchy girl (i should probably stop calling her bitchy girl, so Alex) to basically run last HillBillie off the road after stealing his truck then blowing him up and collapsing on the side of the road.

 

thinking thats the ending i'm like K, cool, then it flashes to Nate opening up the truck full of money obviously there to grab the money and then the last fellon standing who from the beginning claimed he was innocent appears behind him and SHOOTS NATE IN THE BACK WITH A BOW AND ARROW i'm like WTF??!!??!!! that sucks ! then the camera pans to the back of shit head Fellon guy (sorry but i made at him by this point) and someones feet steps into view of the camera and a blood cover weapon of some kind dropping to his side and THEN movie ends, (so basically so called NICE criminal guy kills nate, because nate came back for the money and so did douchebag criminal guy, but to no ones real surprise all the Hillbillies AREN'T really DEAD!!)

 

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011)

 

Tagline: These Hillbillies are going crazy

 

and so here we have come, to the last (or actually not so last) WRONG TURN, the typical kind of movie that occurs at this point is well, the beginning, i mean the title says it all, Bloody Beginnings !! yes number 4 takes us back to where it alllll begun, the orginonal Hillbillies from the first movie are back, and younger and prettier !!! i kid, I kid. they are youny, but they are STILLLLLL uglyyyyyy they are locked up in the looney tunes bin !! aka the insane Asylum !!! (deem Bitches DOOO be crazy, well the hillbillies do anyway) they're young and still very hungry so one of them chews off and eats his own fingers, fun times !!!

 

(Just hanging around, another day on the job for the crazy's doctor)

 

Basically this is the worst movie of them all, but its good soild idiotic fun, said Hillbillies escape and kill their doctor (as above) and basically the Loony tunes go nuts killing all the doctors and nurses and then we cut to i have no idea how many months weeks years later, bunch of horny douche baggy collage kids taking a trip on winter break to some douchy heads cabin in the middle of winter, on jet ski thingys in the snow, they OH HELLLL NO, take a WRONG TURN (seriously really i mean COME ON) end up cold and hungry stumble across said abadoned asylum place thingy wander casually in, proceed to turn on the power build a fire, have random nudity and sex, sleep in hospital beds, wander off at night and get killed blah blah blah.

 

like number 3, number 4 is just as bad, probably worse, but its good soild hack and slash and eat fun !!! i really think its lucky that all the tasty looking morsles of human flesh are shallow douch bags and idiots, cause you reallllllly dont care that they all die, and seriously THEY ALL DIE cause you couldn't kill them because hello its CALLED bloody beginnings !!! so the Hillbillies have to survive in order to be around to KILL KILL KILL in the orgional wrong turn !!! so making the charactors as shollow as a wading pool helped with this move a little bit, by the end of the movie i was honestly rooting for the hillbillies to get their lunch on!!!

 

i cannot really say much about this movie, they play around in a hospital have wheel chair races wander off on their own run out of the hospital when their friend is grusomely beheaded in front of them discover hillbillies have disconnected their jet ski thingys run BACK INTO the hospital after one of the girls decides she the strongest skier and shall hike through the woods to help, only to freeze to death on a tree just METRES from the road HARSSSSSSSSSSH they run around the hospital into the basement to arm themselves with sharp things to fight back, i dont think they even HURT the Hillbillies all the while there is like at least 8 or 9 of them against three crazies i mean really they lock the hillbillies back in the EXACT cell they broke out from in the first place the "would be final girl if was just another WRONG TURN movie and not a tale of beginnings" shows the Hillbillies 'mercy' when they others wanna torch them good and cripsy only for the said crazies to escape AGAIN an kill the last remaining few, climaxing in the 'Final girl' and another girl escaping on one of the jet ski thingys only to drive straight into wire and get their head chopped CLEAN OFF!!

 

 

Stupidty after stupidty abounds in number 4 it'll make you laugh and make you cry and then make you howl with laughter and yell "go Hillbillies GO GO" its good for a single watch to 'see' how it all began, and then laugh lots at the idiot choices everyone makes, the acting is terrible and its no where near what the first wrong turn was and is.

 

So there you have it, 4 Wrong turns and still NO ONE HAS LEARNT cause number 5 is to be released at the end of this month, so i shall grab me up a copy and away i watch soon enough. from number 2 the violence an death essculates to epic proportions theres lost of literal blood guts and gore spilling all over the place, people choped in havles and threes and cooked and stewed and eaten, so i warn you its not for people of weak hearts and stomaches, it really does push the boundires of disguting, and the acting and story lines just get worse and worse as each one comes out.

but i recommended them all a watch especially in a wrong turn marathon, bring some freinds over admire the simplicity and brilliantness of the first enjoy the greatness of 2 (Hillbillie Tupee, need i say more) enjoy the small Criminal Vs Hillbillie moments in number 3 and laugh and shake your head in WTF really at number 4 (then cheer for the Hillbillies in the end) have fun with it and remember

 

WRONG TURN = HILLBILLIE HELL!!!!!!

Movie Review - Fear Island (2009)

 

Fear Island (2009)

 

As you'll find i've stated a few times within my couple of movie reviews that i seem to gravitate towards liking the more obscure and out there slasher/horror movies, i by no means like my movies tame but sometimes i come across a tame one, such as the way of this movie Fear Island, upon investigating this movie there wasnt alot about it out there, mainly just reviews on the IMBD.com website which 90% of the reviews pan this movie, now on further inspection i've found that this was actually a made for TV movie not even for cinema release or just a straight to DVD which now looking back completely explains it utter tameness.

 

So the basic story for this movie is 6 kids, 5 friends and a stow away head out to 'fear island' for one last gathering before they all go off on their seperate adventures after high school, its a very cabin in the woods isolated slash and stalk feel to this movie, its set up well in places an begins with what im asumming is FBI agents chasing a girl down in the woods and taking her back to civilization, she has amnesia and cant seem to remeber her name.

 

An FBI agent who is hell bent on finding out the truth is pushing her to tell him what happens, then in comes a psychologist forcing the FBI agent to let her shrink this girl into telling them what happened, and so we proceed to get the story in flash back form, normally flashbacks in these movies drive me mentally up the wall and make me want to throw things at my tv, it can be SO over done in the slasher genre, but somehow in this movie they to a extent made it work, you get all the right tid bits and back story, and you met all the charactors, and then the story unfolds as we go between the presences and the flashbacks of the Amnisea girl slowly remebering bits and pieces of what happened on the Island resulting in 5 dead teenagers.

 

 

I have to warn you this is a very tame "stalk and slash" infact i probably wouldn't even go so far as to call it slash, more just "stalk and Kill" the setting of the isolated island is quite pretty and the final girl Jenna played by Hayliee Duff caught me off gaurd she mirrors alot of what makes her sister more famous, she seemed to inhabited the same look and sound and feel as her sister, and she acted her part fair well to my surprise, it was also nice to see Lucy Hale before her Pretty Little Liars role though her part in the movie is a major part to the plot it seems to be played down a little which made the movie lose a little of its shine.

 

Also the big back story thats pivotal to the plot and whats happening on the island didn't even show itself till 3 quarters of the way through the movie, and as for the killings the most grafic was probably the boiled to death in the spa, it wasn't overly bloody in any aspects which i understand now that i know its a made for TV movie so therefore they had to make it pretty tame.

 

 

Honestly there is nothing spectacular or stand out or sensational about this movie, its by no means the kind of movie that will be in the relam of your Friday the 13th or Scream, but i did find enough to enjoy to be able to happily get through the movie, there is that big plot twist and role reversals between the Psychologist and the FBI agent who are both interiganting the only survior who has knowledge of what happened on the island, theres so much more i wanna say for this movie but most of it gives away a massive part of the movie and the ending, i did however pick up the ending about 20 odd minutes into the movie, and though i knew the ending and didnt get any surprise from it at the end, i still DID enjoy watching this movie.

 

this is probably the kind of tame foray into 'slash' ( i use that world lightly of course) that newbies might enjoy a watch its tame enough that there are no jump scares theres no blood guts and gore but there is a plot in there thats seemingly easy to follow, or it was for me anyway, i think its the kind of movie you have to watch with a grain of salt, dont over think this one, what you think is right is most likely just that, right.

 

There is alot that makes you 'face palm' it through out the movie, Jennas best friend bringing her yappy lil dog to the island, one of the guys seemingly feeding the dog tequila then kicking it out of the house so Jenna friend lose her shit about her dog being out in the woods, that then leads to them running around the woods trying to find this damn dog and of course finding the first dead body.

 

 

theres the silly scribblings of words like 'Evil' and 'innocent' scrawled on bodies and weird toys and on glass doors some of it you wont catch cause its scrawled so small on some little toy at the begining you barely have a chance to notice any significants till later on in the movie when the few remaining charactors discuss them, theres bear traps to the leg and death by snake bite, its all a bit of a giggle.

One moment i cheered happily was when they all realized someone was on the island trying to off them all they locked doors and bolted windows and armed themselves with weapons, and i laughed with glee happily when one of the guys comes wandering back into the room brandishing and nail gun i cheered happily for him, only to face palm it a few minutes later when he some how manages to drop the nail gun outside and run back inside without it and then killer shoots him with it, luckily not mortally wounding him, just wounding him enough to probably feel like somewhat of an idiot for losing his defence weapon, to the proceed to lose his life to a snake bite to the chest.

 

There isn't much more i can say about this movie, it goes a little bit longer then i think needed between the present day story and the flashback story telling the two plots in one seemed to push the movie into a long running time i believe, but even from all the bad reviews ive seen of it i really did not mind this made for tv movie at all, and i think thats what people need to remeber going into this one Its MADE FOR TV therefore its not going to be like sitting down to some R rated slasher flick with blood and guts flying everywhere, its more like watching a nice long episode of murder sher wrote theres abit a death and charatcors sleuthing and a sub plot to explain WHY the killings have occured and then the story being told by flash backs.

 

It can get a litte jumbled at times, but i managed through it with a satisfied smile on my face, i think it may be comforting for me to be scared but then laugh at something dumb someone does on screen and then it reminds me its not real, but dont fear, Fear Island is more of a Tame Fear Island, like spiders or snakes, they can be deadly but ya know, bug spray shovel to the head an they are dead !!!!

 

Give it a go, but dont hurt me cause its not a spectacular kind of movie, hell it was only 8 bucks on ebay so its a nice little addition to my collection and one that in a few years time i will probably have forgetten most of it and watch it again !!!!

Movie Review - Freddy Vs Jason (2003)

Freddy Vs Jason (2003)

Freddy Krueger: [narrating] My children... from the very beginning, it was the children who gave me my power. The Springwood Slasher, that's what they called me. My reign of terror was legendary. Dozens of children would fall by my blades. Then the parents of Springwood came for me, taking justice into their own hands. When I was alive, I might have been a little naughty, but after they killed me, I became something much, much worse. The stuff nightmares are made of. The children still feared me, and their fear gave me the power to invade their dreams, and that's when the fun REALLY began. Until they figured out a way to forget about me. To erase me completely. Being dead wasn't a problem, but being forgotten, now that's a BITCH. I can't come back if nobody remembers me. I can't come back if nobody's afraid. I had to search the bowels of Hell, but I found someone, someone who'll make 'em remember. He may get the blood, but I'll get the glory, and that fear is my ticket home.

Omg the excitement this movie envokes in me when i think about it, i mean what isn't there to love when you blend to of the most iconic stalk n slash killers of all time, in Freddy Kruger and Jason Voorhees!!!, it makes me laugh cry and squeal with glee, when the blood starts to squirt squish and splatter across the screen i feel that big grin spead across my face and i sit back and enjoy the carnage that follows !!

Having read only a couple of reviews on the IMDB.com website, it gets mostly good reviews especially from the hardcore Freddy and Jason fans, and like most of them i wandered from the start whether they could ever make this work, that they could combine the two stories well enough to make it blend into some semblances of a watchable movie.

and thank god for small mercy's they made it work well together, the idea of the story starting with krugers little speech (see above) as he raises Jason from his watery grave to set him loose on elm street to make them remember him, when Jason stumbles onto Lori and her friends drinking at her house and one of her friends disappears up stairs with her boyfriend where we get the typical tit shot sex scene, that ends in the poor guy getting stabbed in the bed then bent in half by Jason when his girlfriend comes out of the bathroom and finds him screaming we cut to her running out of the house in just a towl covered in blood and her friends race after her they then flag down a passing police man.

When the police are called in it sets off a chain of events when Lori over hears the Police Chief speaking to another officer mentioning the name Freddy Kruger and she slowly starts to remember him, reminding all her friends and school mates around her, we get the typical party scene with death and carnage as Jason goes stab happy on a bunch of drunk and passed out teens much to the dismay of Freddy when Jason stabs the girl he goes after, the kids slowly start putting two and two together when Mark (Lori long lost love who vanished without even saying goodbye) breaks out of an institution he'd been admitted to with his friend Mark because they where the ones who remembered Freddy and where locked away and given drugs to stop them from dreaming, so when Will realizes whats been happening they head to the institution to steal the drugs to keep them drom dreaming and keep Freddy at bay.

Of course their plan is thwarted by freddy and Jason shows up to, to do a bit of slicing and dicing, till Lori formulates a plan to bring Jason back to his home turf of crystal lake and bring freddy out of her dreams into real life and set Freddy and Jason against each other which then leads to the inevitable show down that is done well a set up perfectly.

Freddy though seeming to be more pivotal in the movie then Jason doesn't really get much kill, Jason does all the slaughtering in his big mute hulking scary way that he does, even at times when Freddy's going in for the kill he's too weak, or Jason gets them before freddy does, but even still the friday the 13th movies where always the best for a good kill scene where as freddy was the best for the scary nightmare scenes of bloody pouring out of places and down walls and those creepy children playing jump rope singing that freddy song.

The actors do a well enough job and they seemed to be enjoying it too, Kelly rowlands was a stand out for me as the witty token black girl with an attitude to boot, shes the typical final girls best friend, whos there right up till the very end till Jason steps in and stomps her out, as he does best of course. The nerdy guy whos sweet and misunderstood and in love with the final girl, who plays loyal puppy dog till he takes a blow from Jason, Will the dependable boyfriend who was sent away becuase he knew too much about Freddy adn they couldn't let him infect any of the other teenagers in town, and his friend Mark whos with him, who believes Freddy is real when everyone else doesn't because Freddy killed his older brother but everyone believed it was just a suicide.

Theres enough blood splatter for the avid slasher fan who, like myself, love their gore, the showdown is probably the ultimate scene and the most scrutinized scene in the movie thankfully it was made over the top, and when you match to unkillable killers against each other ya wander where can they really go with that, but the face that Freddy slashes up Jason with his own knife and Jason stabs Freddy with his own severed hand it was well done in my terms of the simple minded fanatic that i am.

There honestly isn't anything i can complain about with this movie, the only thing i didn't like about it was they killed of Mark who was the one all along warning Will that Freddy was real and his charactor to me was just to likeable that his brother had been killed by Freddy that Will had never stopped believing in him but couldn't dream about him because of the drugs they were taking in the institution. i would've liked to at least seen him in the final scenes with Lori and Will, maybe he could've been killed in the cross fire of Jason and Freddy show down or something like that, or even better he could've been a survior too an instead could've killed of Will cause i didn't really like him as the final guy that much, he didn't seem all that... right i guess.

though the whole back story of him thinking Lori father had killed Lori mother and discovering the truth at the end worked well to understand WHY he'd been institutinalised, but honestly i really am just nit picking at a movie that doesn't really have any flaws to it that i could see, it had EVERYTHING a slasher film enthusiaust could ask for, theres the nudity the sex the drugs the random back story the token black charactor the vriginal final girl, the heroic guy, the nerd, the slut and the knowledgable guy that NO ONE listens too ( i mean when are people going to start realizing when the crazy person tells you someones gonna stab you if you go in there that maybe you should LISTEN TO THEM!!)

and of course theres enough blood splashing across teh screen to make any genre fan swoon with happiness and joy as i do everytime i watch this movie, its a well blended movie of two iconic charactors that have been immortilazed on screen for so many years, and i hope that the rumours that have been floating around since 2006 of a sequeal will soon become a reality because there is definatly room to make this movie become even bigger and even better and what genre fanatic can get enough of Freddy or Jason i ask you !!! maybe they could throw in some micheal myers for good affect hehe.

So if you've watched every Firday move and Seen all the Freddy Gems, then maybe its time to throw down some Freddy Vs Jason and to feel that joy and happiness as you sit back and watch the blood fly and squish and splash all over the place and the fun ensue and the show down of all show downs occurs right before your very eyes and sob with Glee this is a DEFINATE must see for any genre fan and i'm pretty sure every fan out there has seen it so if you haven't then SEE IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!

[after seeing Jason at the rave]
Kia Waterson: Was that him? The guy you were talking about... Freddy Krueger?
Lori Campbell: No, that wasn't the guy in my dream. That was somebody else.
Charlie Linderman: Who cares about some fucking dream guy, okay? That psycho in the hockey mask was real.
Bill Freeburg: Dude, that goalie was pissed about something.

Movie Review - Cut (2000)

CUT (2000)

 

Lecturer: We are so lucky today. We're lucky because we're here to see the most exciting screening of a very rare film. You may have read about it in the newspapers, because there was this so-called "curse" on the film. And that was that every time anybody tried to complete the film, someone died. In any case, this print is the only print in existence and we are really lucky to be able to see it today. All right, nothin' more to say. Here we go, let's roll it!

So you can imagine my dissapointment a couple of months ago when i'm on my slasher/horror movie watching spree that i've rocked up to the video store excited at the prospect of seeing a lil australia slasher flick made in my hometown of Adelaide that i hadn't seen in over 10 years !!!! only to discover that the video store only had a VHS copy of the movie, now i was bought up in the days of VHS and it was ON VHS that i first saw this movie, but i haven't owned a VCR for at least 10 years if not more !!!

 

So after leaving the video store, the store OWNER even attempted a search of his suppliers to see if he could even find me a copy on DVD i could purchase only to no avail on his end, so saldy i trundled home (i did hire a bunch of dvds but i sure as hell can't remember the ones i'd borrowed that day) anyway a couple of days later i've logged onto Ebay an thought to myself, i wander, typing in the name of the DVD 'Cut' and you get a million different movies that are directors 'cut' so i've procceded to add on the likes of 'Kylie Minogue and Molly Ringwald the two 'main' notable stars of the movie, and can you imagine the thrill and excitement i felt when there was a DVD copy for sale on ebay!!

 

So finally a week ago with the money saved up (it wasn't that expensive on ebay but when ya gotta pay bills and rent and everything else something as simple and a coveted DVD needs to be saved for) i purchased my copy on ebay and 4 days later i went too my mail box and nearly cried with happiness when i opened the package to see my copy of cut all shiney and new sitting there waiting for me!!

 

 

To start with i'll explain a little of the story, the movie begins with Vanessa (played by the lovely Molly RIngwald) doing a scene for a movie by director Hilary Jacobs (played by the also lovely Kylie Minogue) the scene is ruined by the guy playing the killed in the mask when he forgets to rip open Vanessa blouse before sliting her throat which leads to Hilary screaming at the guy in front of all the cast and crews, this upsets him enough that he goes and visits Hilary in the litte out house where shes staying and proceedes to kill her by cutting off her tounge, Vanessa walks in and manages to kill him before he kills her and then we cut to 12 years later (i think i can't remember lol)

 

We then met a bunch of film school students whos teacher worked on the set of the movie called hot blooded that never got finished because of the death of its director, the film school students decide they want to finish making the movie even at the insistances of their teacher that they just leave well enough alone, there are stories of a curse on the movie, that anyone who tries to finish the movie is killed, and so brings us into the story of a bunch of films students who return to the remote location to finish the movie once and for all, even roping in the original B grade actresse Vanessa, resulting in lots of carnage on the set of the movie.

 

Okay so, i vaguley remembered this movie form when i first saw it years ago, this one goes in with Valentine (which i just recently rewatched and reviewed) of the beginnings of my love for slasher flicks, though this film is slasher-esque its not your all out stalk n slash film, but i remember so much loving this movie like 10 or 12 years ago when i first saw it, that i was excited to see it again.

to help you understand, most movies these days are so big with the shows of blood guts and gore, your pretty used to seeing it straight off the bat shoved in your face, but Cut was like a Firday the 13th or other slasher flicks of the 80s, slow buring in its build up to the kills, but once it gets there look out !!, though not so bloody and gory its actually a well done film for its kind, with the supernatural twist in it which is why i dont' see it as an all out stalk n slash movie, it has its typical problems that all movies do the pacing does become slow in the beginning and i started wandering what i loved so much about this movie, till it gets to later in the film and i realized i'd blocked at the first half of the movie and only remembered the second half when the killing starts !!

 

(Lovely australian actress Jessica Napier plays Raffy the film student director who wants to finish the movie)

 

I finially watched cut like i do a friday the 13th movie loving it for the sheer fact that it's different from the movies of today, and that they hold a special something that movies today really dont have. I've read a few reviews on this movie as well and it gets a pretty good review from people, though most do note how slow it is to get going and its certain other pit falls, but it still is better then it should have been !! and that makes me proud because its an Australian film for a start and it was filmed in my home town of Adelaide South Australia so i feel a bit protective of this movie too.

 

There are some really good austrlaian acting in this movie, a massive draw card of this movie at its time was the starring role of Kylie Minogue (very popular Australian singer who's been around for YEARS and even stared in australian tv show called neighbours) though her role amounted to about 20 minutes at the start of the movies before she gets killed off, but what i loved seeing was an older Molly RIngwald starring as the B grade actress Vanessa, and she did a brilliant job in this role, i love her from her days of 80's girly movies like Sixteen Candles and The breakfast club (my absolute FAVE girly movie).

 

 

The kills in the movie follow fairly well with a friday the 13th movie, there's a beheading that happens off camera adn then you see the head roll onto the ground and then a chick tries escaping the killer but all the doors and miraculously 'locked' and she can't get away and then he throws a huge carving knife nailing her to the door and few feet off the ground. there's a really gruesome scene of one of the girls trying to escape the killer and trys to hide in the woodshed only for the killer to find a way in and shove her head into an automatic wood cutter. and the camera pans to outside the woodshed and you see the massive blood splatter across the window below the wood cutter. by then end though when we get another beheading, you only see it sillouheted on the wall and then you get like the tiniest amount of blood spray on the wall so i'm guessing by this point they'd run out of fake blood and money to make it much bigger then that lol.

 

but all in all it is a good movie, though slow to begin with if you just push to get through the beginning and get to the middle of the movie when all the mayhem and killing starts its a great fun little movie well made for its calibre and actually is better then people do expect it to be in the end.

I do totally recommend you see this movie if you can, it is actually a hard movie to find and i live in the town it was freaking made in and it was hard for ME to find, but if you do happen to stumble across a copy its definatly one of those good put your feet up and watch cause ya don't need to think so much to get through it and its all great fun and you will possibly find yourself reminiscent of watching a friday the 13th.

 

Movie Review - Valentine (2001)

VALENTINE (2001)

Adam Carr: All I can think is when someone is that lonely or that angry they can learn to hide it. But inside, it never dies. It just stays there. Eats away at you. Until one day, you have to do something about it.

This has got to be one of the FIRST slash n' stalk movies i ever watched !! i remember it so well because i saw in at the cinema with a bunch of girlfriends when it first came out, no previous to seeing this movie one of the FIRST horror/slasher/scary movies i saw was Final Destination that had been released the previous year, Now i dont really class Final Destination as a slasher flick, but i will explain that more at a later date.

The reason i remember this movie so much is that when i saw it in the cinemas it was just me and 4 other girls we were all of about 16 and it was just us in the cinema, it was a great ol time climbing over chairs running up and down isle, i even think malteaser where throwen around at one point, but what i pointedly really remember was the way it scared us, at 16 of course we where a little freaked out and everytime there was a jump scare in the movie one of my girlfriends screamed literally at the top of her lungs, i think by this point we had one of the usher guys poking his head in every so often cause i think he thought WE were getting murdered and not the chicks on the screen.

So this little movie holds a bit of a soft spot for me, which sort of makes it hard for me to be critical of the movie, i do remember it being some what scary when i was 16, and having watched it again this afternoon, i see why to my 16 year old self that it was, the tension is well built in this movie, but i am getting ahead of myself, first let me give you a short low down of the movie.

we begin this movie in 1988 at a junior high valentine day dance, we are taken along with young Jeremy Melton as he proceedes to ask the cute popular girls to dance with him, they all refuse him in their own ways (which later sets them up for how they will die) until he finally ask Dorothy the token 'Fat" girl in junior high she accepts and then we come to a camera panning under the bleachers of the high school gym to find Dorothy and Jeremy making out, the cool guys of the school discover them and starting making fun of both Jeremy and Dorothy promting dorothy to falsey accuse Jeremy of attacking her, so the boys dump a bowl of punch (reminiscent of the pivotal scene in Carrie) on his head.

We then skip to 13 years later, and we re met Shelly (played by Katherine Heigl) on a date with a real loser, cutting the date short she heads back to the universtity where she studying to become a doctor and is in the midst of studying for her mid terms, so the scene is specifically set up just so she can die (opps sorry if thats a bit of a plot line give away) we get all of about 15 minutes into the movie before she is killed off (supposedly she had to shot her scene in 3 days cause she had prior commitments to the tv show Roswell).

Of course this is all the set up to reintroduce us to Kate, Paige, Dorothy and Lily who are of course all grown up now, and we proceede into them all recieving Valentines that aren't so sweet and then being stalked and slashed all esculating at a Valentines bash in the home of Dorothy's rich father.

(Denise Richards As Paige and Marley Shelton as Kate)

The reason this movie works for me is its just really kind of simple, after a few re watches there aren't all those massive twist plots that go on and on through out most slasher movies these days, its pretty much the simple stalk n' slash stuff you'd have watched back in the 80s, the story line is simple and easy to follow (for me it was) though there are a few random kills in the movie, why the killer went after Dorothy's toy boy i'm not quite sure, i guess to get him out of the way who knows, theres no real gore to this movie, we do see one of the bodies lying in a pool of blood after the killer has impailed them on broken glass after having thrown them through a wall of glass.

but if you sort of just shrug off the random kills, it is a good movie, Marley Shelton as the final girl in kate is believable, she is the typical all round sweet nice girl you expect to be a final girl, Denise Richards does a remarkbly good job as sexpot Paige who dies in the typical phallic way that is death by drill (sorry for another give away lol) and David Boreanaz as nice girl Kates On/Off boyfriend Adam is right in all the right ways.

(Kate Davies: He's no angel, but he's not a killer.)

there really isn't anything bad that i can say about this movie, it is by no means the best slasher flick you'll find going round, and honestly i had forgotten about this movie for ages in was still packed away in boxes of dvds i hadn't unpacked since i'd moved over a year ago !!! so after taking hours to hunt it down in my spare room i was happily surprised how much i still admire this movie after 11 years, i'm sure i've seen it a few times since 2001 but then again the amount of movies i've watched.

So it may not be one of the most memoriable movies in the slasher genre going round, but this movie gets props for being the first slasher flick to get me into said genre !!! the ending i think left alot of people scratching their heads and going "Huh" but rewatching it again now i've done the whole "Ohhhhh dur of course i get it now" i wont say much else other wise i will give away the ending, thats the only twist through out the movie is the twist at the end, so thank god for that movie these days try to be TOO smart with all their plot twisty and turns and it just gives me a headache trying to figure it out lol.

The killers disguse of all black with the creepy cherub mask works well, it seems so innocent and yet creepy at the same time, the way they've worked it into the movie right from the beginning is really good too, theres not much more i can think to say about the movie, i really just loved it to bits because it holds that special place in my heart lol though it doesn't rate on my top 10 because it really is the kinda movie that you forget about after awhile (is that a bad thing i dunno??) but i think in essences i will forever APPRECHIATE this movie for introducing me to the world that is stalk n' slash !!!

so i do recommend giving thismovie a go, a relaxing arvo off work if you may, come home pop it in the DVD player put your feet up, grab a couple choccies from the cupboard and a nice ice cold can of Fanta from the fridge (doesn't have to be fanta i just say fanta because its what i was drinking at the time i watched the movie lol) and sit back and be happily apprechiate a movie that is by no means the best ever but does well in making you smile !!!

(Phallic drill kill anyone!!)

Paige Prescott: Does somebody wanna be my Valentine?

Movie Review - Black Christmas (2006)

BLACK CHRISTMAS (AKA BLACK XMAS) (2006)   Hospital Santa: [Noticing a padlock on Billy's cell door] A Padlock? Security Guard J.Bailey: His mom used one when she kept him in the attic... it helps him feel at home, especially at Christmas, every year around this time he tries to escape   And here it is people, my number one FAVE slasher flick !!! it stole my number one spot for the original friday the 13th because to me this movie is THAT GOOD !!! it is nothing but your basic slash stalk kill !!!! its got the blood its got the guts and its got the gore and its an ALL female cast apart from 2 cast members !!!   So what is it i love about this movie over all the others you ask, well nothing really i just love it, alot, it doesn't really follow the whole sin rules of your normal everyday slasher flicks, theres a bit more of a story line, but yet not really, most of it is for show so they can get to some good killings, even one victum aciddently kills themself !!! its got those creeppppy ass phone calls although not as pivotal in the remake as it was in the original, the remake relys solely on the bloody kills instead of the pee your pants phone call scares.     Basically the story revolves around a big ass house thats been made into a sorority house, but back in the 70's a kid called billy lenz lived there with his mother and father, and like any good back story poor billy lenz wasn't loved by his mother, so after witnessing his father being murdered he gets locked in the attic in the house, until yearslater he escapes and kills everyone and is then arrested and placed in a sanitarium.     So on christmas eve a bunch of sorority girls are opening presents with their house mother, when one of the girls seems to disappear but no one notices till another girl disappears and then the first girls sister rocks up at the sorority house demanding where her sister is because she was supposed to have been with her already. then one by one the girls get stalked and slashed byt a crazed killer we all assume is billy lenz escaped from the sanitarium. I honestly love this movie because the kills are pretty simple every day objects the killer picks up in the house to off the girls with, and then proceedes to pull out the girls eyeballs to hang them on a christmas tree in the attic, and also at one point even EATS one of the girls eyeballs, so its got the blood guts and gore of a slasher flick that i love, by the end when you get to the attic scene with final girl Kelli and the first girl to be offed's sister Leigh discover all the bodies and they all have there eyes missing and one of the girls head is on top of the christmas tree instead of a star or angel !!! its gross and awesome at the same time.     there is actually a decent plot line behind what is happening in the sorority house ! they actually go into it in the guise of the house mother and Kelli boyfriend Kyle who has lived in the town his whole life telling the story of Billy Lenz, everyone of course thinks Billy is dead, but they are wrong, but the girls are all lead to believe he's not dead and has returned to kill them all off one by one, without giving too much away if you pay enough attention to the story of billy and to the beginning of the movie you'll see there is more too it then that !!     Not only is there a pretty decent storyline in the movie but there are quite a few recognizable faces, Michelle Tratchenburg (from Buffy), Lacey Chabert (from Party of Five), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (From Final Destionation 3) and Katie Cassidy (from the Nightmare Remake and most noteable for me Supernatural Original Ruby !!!) so that for me was the draw card in the beginning for seeing this movie, it was a few months ago i first actually saw this movie or even heard of its existances, i was searching for some good horror movies to watch and stumbled across this one online, so i headed to the video store and hired it and they rest they say of course is history !!     I honestly cannot find much bad to say about this movie, i liked it from start to finish, maybe i am just a simple minded gal !!! i do honestly love most the bad slasher movies out there, the ones that most people dont like as i've said before in previous movie reviews, the thing is with this movie i watched the remake before i watched the original, i actually didn't know that this was a remake till a month or so after i'd discovered this little gem and watched it i found the original at the video shop and decided to watch it too, and i didn't really like the remake, it was kind of slow and didn't really build up to anything or go anywhere, i was slightly confused by the plot of the original, where as in the remake they outlined the plot clearly enough so you understood what was going on. I've said it before and i'll say it again, i loved this movie for the blood and gore involved too, always a big draw card for me is a movie thats not afraid to be a bit disgusting in its storyline, i mean eating eyeballs YUCK!! an when billy kills his mother on christmas, he makes christmas cookies out of her flesh and eats them with milk when he gets arrested by the cops!!! disgusting and sooooo awesome at the same time !!!     So this is DEFINATLY a movie i'd recommend watching especially if you love your slasher flicks and you love some good kills and a bit of disgustingness thrown in !!! then you will probably love this movie as much as i did !!! i even recommended watching the original and then watching the remake and try imagining the creeeeeeepy calls fromt he original placed into the kills of the remake !!! that would've been soooooo freaking creepy !!     they do use the creepy calls in the remake, but not so much to the extent of the first one, its more concentrated on the kills and the stalking then anything.     So i hope ya watch this movie and enjoy it as much as i do !! and i hope it gets added to your top 10 slasher flicks !! even if it doesn't get to your number one spot !!!!! Melissa Kitt: I'm sorry, but that-that fuckin' voice, that was not Megan or Kyle. That was the fucking devil, and he was not talking to us, he was talking to Billy