Monday 3 December 2012

My Top 5: Favourite scary things

Everyone has their favourite things in life, from food to movies to books to what they like doing on weekends, here though i have decided to compile a list of MY 5 favourite scary things, not so much scary but they are the things that i either started out my horror obession or is something i am obsessed with today !!

maybe it will explain alot about me and who i am !!! and where my obsession for scary movies anything horror and realllllly bad slasher movies comes from !!!! so here it is people my top 5 favourite scarrrrrrry things !!! just in time for halloween !


#5 - Hocus pocus - The Craft (an everhting in between and after!!)

Before my horror movie, slasher film, scary watching obession, i had an obsession with these two movies !!! i reckon hocus pocus was one of my first forays into the world of supernatural as such, and the start of my love for witchy like movies !!! then there's the craft (which i will have to rewatch and review for all soon) this movie is actually very near and dear to me because it was the movie in the 90s the me my older sister and two older cousins used to watch together religiously !! we'd even get the point of acting out scenes together especially trying to do the whole 'light as a feather stiff as a board' moment in the movie where they lift one of the girls off the ground with just two fingers !!


Bette mildlers performace as one of the witches is so memorable in Hocus Pocus and Neve campbell as one of the witches in The Craft has always been somewhat memorable to me (funnily enough upon investiagtion The craft came out in July of 1996 and Scream came out in December of 1996, so was a good year for Neve Campbell) they're both just such enjoyable movies and hold sentimental value and memories for me, and is probably one of the earliest memories of my obsession with anything to do with the supernatural which then extended out into my obession with scarrrrry movies !!!



#4 R.L Stine/Point Horror Fiction

Say hello to my second gateway drug to the world that is horror/slasher/scary !! Starting out with R.L Stines Goosebump books when i was a just a wee tacker !! but too this day i still read R,L Stines teenage fiction novels that are basically your average everyday stalk an slash in a book, thats probably why i love stalk n slash movies so much !! also the point Horror fiction with authours such as Richie Tankersley Cusick and Diane Hoh, they are all a bunch of well written teenage fiction scary books.


I mean JUST LOOK ! at some of those titles, Lights out ( hello gateway to friday the 13th) April Fools (Hello Gateway to april fools day) The babysitter (Hello gateway to When a Stranger calls) i could go on and on and on for DAYS!! about these books, the ones pictured are amoung my favourites !! Blindfold by Diane Hoh is one of my NUMBER ONE favourite books !! i love that damn lil booky wook !! its everything that was and i wish still was 80's slash n stalk all in one of my favourite things of all time A BOOK!!

i suppose it would help many to know (or not) that i am an obsessive reader as well so i love to devour book after book after book, so this was seriously my first foray into the world of stalk and slash and i am also proud to say i am the owner of a extensive collection of these books that i love soo much, i am ALWAYS on the hunt for the very rare ones that are hard to find but i don't care if it takes me till i'm 100 one day i HOPE AND PRAY to own each and everyone one of the R.L Stine books and Point Horror fiction !!! which brings us to number 3 !!!


#3 80's Slasher movies

oooooooh the trash, the filth, the fun !!! 80's were such an awesome time for movies, i am obsessed with the 80's i do love everything about it, the bad hair the clothes THE MOVIES!! oh god those movies that came from the 80's they were so wonderful and delicious and slasher movies back then WHERE ACTUALLY SCARY !!!! something that this day and age SADLLLLY lacks alot of, we are too obessed with this whole technology shit that its over taking from great story telling and scary stalk scenes and awesome slayings that where the pivotal moments of any 80's talks and slash movie!!


I mean look at those movie posters ALONE they are soooooo cool, i love the friday the 13th movie poster and the april fools day one as well !! there is just so much to love about these movies, the didn't have the CGI and computer graphics like we do this day and age, thou they DID have it, it wasn't ever to the extent that we have today, and i think thats what makes these movies so fanfriggintastic, they couldn't just rely on a computer to make special graphics !!! they had to use their smarts and brains and they used the whole 'stalk' method to extremes back then better then anyone ever has today !! ohh i just loveeeeee them !! i love anything 80's really



# 2 - Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel

Ah the 90's they tried so hard with movies, and they did pretty darn good with the Scream Franchise and i Know what you did last summer, but the thing of the 90's that i remember sooooooooo much and still watch religiously to this day is Buffy, just that name sends a happy tingle through my body and a sigh of contentment from my lips ! i'm pretty sure everyone from my generation up wards and possibly even a few of the newer generation have seen buffy !!, with all these shows coming out today with vampires and demons and werewolves its pretty damn hard to beat buffy !


Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy LOVE IT, David Boreanz as Angel LOVE IT, i just damn well love everything about this show and the spin off it created of angel, not only did buffy battle demons and vampires and monsters but she was dealing with real life issues at the same time of being a teenage and vampyr slayer !! it wasn't hard for her and i loved seeing that they didn't make it easy for her just because she was a super hero, the interaction between buffy and angel in the first 3 episodes, and then how they grew apart and also together when angel left, there is SO MUCH about this show to love, and again was another gateway for my obsession i have with scary things !!!!

So thus brings us to number one on my list, and probably my number one thing at the moment (tied with my scary movie obsession) on my list of everything in Life !!!



#1 - Supernatural

What can i say really, i mean for starters LOOK AT THOSE BOYS !!! (Jenson NEEDS to call me !!!) but honestly its not all about two hots boys on my screen, there IS a real good story behind supernatural (thou over time has gotten a lil bad) season one alone is a stand out introducing us to two brothers, one who had gotten out of the 'family' business to go to collage and another (the eldest) who stayed in the 'family' business when daddy goes missing older brother Dean tracks down younger brother Sam to help him find daddy, thus thrusting Sam back into the life he ran away from and forcing them onto a journey that has spanned 8 years !!!, with the 8 season just airing on tv NOW !!


There is so much to love about this tv series, there's vampire and werewolves and ghosts and every damn other thing you ever dreamed was under your bed but couldn't believe was really there, they fight them off they save people, there's demon possesion and funny one liners between the boys or the demons they're fighting, there has to be the best VILLIAN EVERY CREATED in a tv series or movie everrrrrrr in demon turned king of Hell Crowely (i love me that demon) he's funny and witty and while the boys outwit him time and time again he literally COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD !!! there's story lines about angels as well come the fourth season lots of biblical stuff that sometimes made me tune out cause i've never really followed that stuff but after a few episodes i'd come to relalize that it DID interest me so paid more attention. really all i CAN say is that I JUST LOVE SUPERNATURAL !!! its the best of all the supernatural tv shows on tv at the moment (true blood is a good second, and vampire diaries a nice 3rd) there really is something for EVERYONE on this show, i recommend a watch of the episode yellow fever, hilrious to see a tough hunter get scared of a cat in a locker (its like all those silly jump scares from slasher films)

So there you have it, its not just movies that are influental, theres the books and the tv shows too !!! combine them all together and its a jumble of fun really never a dull moment for me i always have something to do or something to watch !!! so check out some of the stuff mentioned if you haven't seen or read them, i honestly think everyone should experiance some R,L Stine point horror fiction in their lives, and you DEFINATLY ABSOLUTLY WITHOUT QUESTION need to experiance some Supernatural Sam and Dean in your life, cause if you haven't we can no longer be friends !!!

Go forth young jedi's and immerce yourself in what is the world of SCARYYY (and fun)

Sunday 2 December 2012

Movie Review - The Entity (1982)

The Entity - 1982
 
Carla Moran: All right. All right, bastard. I've finished running. So do what you want. Take your time - buddy. Take your time. Really, I'm thankful for the, uh... rest. I'm so... tired of being scared. So it's all right, it really is, it's all right. You can, uh, do anything you want to me, you can, uh, torture me, kill me, anything. But you can't have me. You cannot touch me.
[pause]
Carla Moran: That's mine.
 
I have to ask as i start this review, but what is it about scary movies of the 80s !! they are brilliantly more scary then anything i have ever seen since the year 2000 hit, it was like technology gave people a liscenes to make movies choke full of gory blood spilling scenes and the ever constant 'fake' jump scares that they forget the REAL scares, not like in the 80s, those ever present stalking scenes done so well it DOES leave you scared.
 
Thus brings me to this film, the entity, the first 3rd of the movie does scare me, it had me shivering and wanting to cower under the blankets with my ralph the dog (the toy ive had since i was like 6 or 7) and a flashlight, it had me for a few nights afterwards having to turn on the lights when i went to the toilet instead of my usual falling out of bed and tripping on things in the dark !, i think the ESSENCES (pun intended hehe) of this movie boils down to the story line of a mother of 3 Carla Moran is being haunted by and subsequently raped repeatedly by some unseen entity.
 
 
I think everyone who has ever seen and reviewed this movie has said it, and i will say it again, hats off to Barbera Hershey for her portrayl of Carla Moran, she does such a tremendous job with this role, and its what makes this movie so damn scary, from the first scenes of Carla first rape where she's thrown onto the bed and a pillow is shoved over her head, her eldest son comes running in and carla is screaming that there's someone in the room still, but upon looking around her son finds no one or any sign that anyone was ever there, and from that moment it esculates into some very intense creepy moments in the film, the bathroom rape where the doors swing shut and she can't get out, to the point where she finds herself so sexually stimulated as she had been asleep when it occured, you see the pure fear in her eyes at that point, and you FEEL it too as you watch her.
 
She is a strong woman, but whats happening to her would break ANYONE even the STRONGEST woman on the planet and even in NORMAL circumstances rape is a horrible thing, but under these circumstances its terrifying even more because she cannot explain it, which we experiances when she goes to see a doctor and he tries to come up with all manners of ways to explain whats happened to her, but she shows him CLEAR bruises all over her body that are physically IMPOSSIBLE for her to have done to herself, at one point the doctor even goes to far as to accuse her son of the rapes just to be able to come up with some plausable explination.
 
at this point we seem the termoile going on inside of Calra she starts to wander herself if she's really going crazy and as the audiance i started to wander it too, but at the height of her 'am i or aren't i' we get escualting scenes of attack from the Entity and this is where it starts to creep me out, especially for a movie made in the early 80's there is some nudity in which we see someone touching or i should say groping at Carla naked breast, but there is NO ONE else in the room but her and yet you can clearly see someone it doing something to her, that scene had me shivering so much, it had me BELIEVING it was real and she wasn't just going crazy.
 
 
Though slowly towards the end of the movie i find it loses a bit of steam, especially with the introduction of paranormal investigators at a university who Carla happens to bump into at a book store, she tells them her story and they dont know whether to believe her or not at first until they witness something they cant deny as seen in the picture above, they take photos and take them back to their professor i guess she is i didnt really know who she was compared to who they were, but basically they show her the pictures and she gives them the go ahead to investigate more.
 
by this point Carla has stopped going to her doctor, and he rocks up at her house to check on her, she pretty much blows him off putting all her trust into these paranormal investigators and this is where the movie peters off for me a bit, the creepiness of her being alone and being attacked gives way to scenes of the blue sparks appearing, you can see the cracks in Carla sanity are starting to show and the doctor honestly thinks she delusional and everyone around her is helping to fed her delusions thus keeping it alive !
 
basically by this point we get some big experimental ending in the university where the paranormal invesitgators are from, and then we get a shot of Carla packing up her car and moving away, which then right at the end the movie proceeds to tell us that it was all based and actual events, that happened to some lady in like 1974, and that to this day (or eg 1982 not now) the events are still accuring thou these accurances have slowly decreased in frequency over time.
 
I do honestly have to say that the start of this movie right up till we get the 'paranormal investigators' is fairly creepy, you cannot deny the amazing job that has been done on this movie, especially the acting of Barbera Hershey, the whole plot between Carla and the Doctor holds up well i think to, it gets you to look it from the point of view of a stranger/someone else that maybe it is all in her head, that her years growing up thinking sex was wrong, and a number of other numerous 'sexual' encounters throughout her life all lend to this point, to making up delusions in her head.
 
the rape scenes within this movie are somewhat vicious at times, and decidedly scary i think for any woman watching this its more confronting then watching any other normal ghost story out there, it's something we live with a fear of throughout our lives and especially in todays culture its so much more prominet which i think is why this movie stands the test of time and is scary in those moments to this day.
 
 
I recommend a watch of this movie, if only just to see how well done it is, especially for its time. between the acting and pacing and the scares it really does give ya a little bit of hebbie jebbies, but i do think it should also come with a warning, it can be a very conforting movie, as much as it is scary it also have that very real element of society, the questions we all have about our own sanity is one thing, but how do you know for sure your bat shit crazy, or your really being raped by a unseen entity !

Monday 26 November 2012

My Top 5: Final Girls

A main component of any Slasher movie is the Final Girl, shes the one that makes it all the way through the slashing and the stalking, usally, but not always, the reason for the stalking and slashing, but sometimes she's just the by stander thrust into the role.

Shes the one with the smarts and the brains, she can outwit the killer, whilst all her friends around her are dropping like flies, shes smart enough to arm herself in some way, or do the research, she can find a way to get to the killer before he can get to her, shes resourcefull and resliant but most of all shes a fighter, she refuses to go out without a bang, she WILL fight to end even if it kills her, but ulitmatly it doesnt and she may be the sole surviour or she has someone else to rely on in the end, but she's always the stand out with her "don't-fuck-with-me" attitude and her relateablilty.

In the early 80's it was all about being the sweet innocent virginal Final Girl, in the 90s they followed this same trend pretty much the same through slasher flicks, as was with the 00s, but slowly but surely they became less about sweet innocent virginal, to more of a tough girl with a generally harsh back story, or something happening within the movie that forces them into fight or flight mode, and trust me when i say THESE GIRLS WILL FIGHT !!!

SO here it is, my top 5 FINAL GIRLS !!


#5 - Ginny Field, Friday The 13th Part II (Played by Amy Steel)

Ginny: Come to mama.

Friday The 13th Part II has got to be one of my faves (apart from the constantly trashed Jason Takes Manhatten Friday the 13th) but its really my favourite cause of Amy steels performance and Final Girl Ginny Fields (Thou i do love also Jenson Daggats performance as Final girl Rennie in Jason Takes Manhatten) There is something about Ginny thats very typical Final Girl, she's sweet typically pretty she dresses oppropriatly and just look at that flowing locks of blonde hair, but also Ginny isnt the typical 80s final girl either which i find adheres her to aduiances alot as well, she's not typically virginal, she has sex in the movie (if i remember correctly, i haven't watched part 2 in awhile) but she is also in a steady relationship.

I find she is the 'put upon' final girl in no other reason then the fact that she kinda steps it up, she does all the 'right' things to a certain degree and she runs and screams like most girls but shes not always so 'stupid' about it that sometimes i find can be so gratting and hard to watch when a girl is running around screaming with her blouse flying open or completely butt naked, mind you on some of those occasions if i were Jason Vorhees i'd wanna stab them good a proper too for acting like such ninny's !!!


But i digress here, what i find is so memorable and what gives Ginny the number 5 spot on my list is those final moments in the movie, the last chase scenes and the show down between Ginny and Jason (look away now in case you haven't seen the movie cause SPOILERS AHEAD) She is the very typical final girl for me because she's smart and she uses her brain, and whilst she is FREAKED OUT like most people would be at the fact there are dead bodies everywhere and all her friends are dead, shes NOT going down without a fight.

And in a pivotal moment when she stumbles upon Jasons lear and his shrine to his dead mother (Pamlea Vorhees who is the orginal Killer in the first Friday movie) she shakingly picks up the jumper of Pamelas and pulls it on, thus convinving Jason that she's his mother and soothing him into dropping his gaurd, its a moment in movie history that i believe endeared her to FT13 fans everywhere, she uses her smarts and her will power to outsmart the killer, whilst Jason is touch and strong Ginny is just as tough and strong.

She fights back with gutso and in the end triumphs over a hulking killer like Jason who has super human strength, she's just an average pretty blonde girl, whos not so typical Final Girl, but still is the PERFECT Firday The 13th Final Girl, in lots of blogs and reviews i've read around she is one of the most popular final girls so its easy to understand why she's on my list !! just like everyone elses.

Side Note: Amy Steel also starred in Slasher flick April Fools Day (1986)


#4 - Julie James, I know what you did last summer/I still know what you did last summer (played by Jennifer Love Hewitt)

Julie: Why would he try to run you over? Why did he make coleslaw on Helen's head? He's fucking with us! He's just out there, and he's watching and waiting!
[screaming to the killer]
Julie: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, HUH? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOOOOORRRR?

I know what you did last summer and I still know what you did last summer came out in the pinnicle of the Scream days, its noted that Scream and IKWYDLS are the films of the 90's that somewhat revived the slasher genre after the late 80s saw a drop in theatre releases for Slasher flims (alot of stuff bewteen the late 80's and early 90s slashers where straight to VHS/DVD and not very good).

Julie is the typical final girl again, at the start when they run over the guy and barry makes the decision to bury their secret shes admanet they not do this and go straight to the police, Barry basically bullies her into keeping the secret, and thus elevates Julie into become Final Girl a year later. what i liked so much about Julie, is the fact that A) she is played by the gorgeous Jennifer Love Hewitt who was a massive pull card for this movie with people hoping and praying to see her topless on the big screen (which to disappointment to most she didn't, but they did a good cleveage ariel shoot when shes screaming in the middle of the road) which then brings me to B) the fact that it gets to the point where she finds a dead body in the trunk of the car after Barry is almost run off the road and Helene has her chopped up while shes sleeping, that Julie just absolutly SNAPS and starts screaming in the middle of the road.


Also she is the typical Smart and resourceful Final girl, she doesnt just lie back and take it she goes into investigative mode, tracking down every piece of evidence she can about the guy they killed Last Summer !!! she also becomes the typical fighter in end when Helen and Barry are both dead and she's left with Ray who basically if i can recall correctly just seems to lumber around and get knocked out in the end, and is really of no real help to Julie, she fights the killer to the death on her own and over comes him in the end.

She's defiantly not a popular final girl and as i can note shes not really on anyones Final Girl List, so i think its time she got a bit of recognition, Jennifer Love Hewitt acts well, thou in I still know what you did last summer, she makes some stupid decision in the process of escaping the killer again, but she still has the essential something about her that makes me love her and root for her, i guess it helps that shes so damn good looking on screen, and just like all the good final girls she fights, while her friends in the first just want to ignore the situation and pretned nothing is wrong she takes control of the situation as best she can trying to get everyone to listen and understand that somethings not right, she was peer pressured into it by Barry and its also comforting to see he's gone nowhere a year later, while she'd managed to go off to collage and try make something of herself.

So thou she's not a popular Final GIrl, i think she's owed a bit of kudos for being the fighter she is and using her smarts the way she does and fighting her damn hardest to save her friends and then fights to the death to save herslelf !!!

Side Note: Jennifer Love Hewitt has played a multitude of charactors through out her career mostly noted for her role tv shows Party of Five and Ghost whisperer, she has really done many other slasher flicks aside from IKWYDLS and ISKWYDLS



#3 - Sydney Prescott, Scream 1,2,3 & 4 (Played by Neve Campbell)


Sidney Prescott: You forgot the first rule of remakes. Don't fuck with the original!

I honestly believe you cannot have a List of Final Girls without having Sidney Prescott in their somewhere, i mean look at HOW MANY TIMES she has survived, shes beaten a count of SEVEN psychotic killers wanting to stab her numerous time, she's suffered the god awful plotting that was scream 3 she is smart and resourceful and by scream 4 she is literally a take no shit final girl, she started out the meek mild sweet innocent Final Girl in the first scream, and as it progressed each time someone came for her she outwitted them to the point of being victor.

People wanna kill this girl bad, but she ain't gonna take that crap, and thou she had help from loveable Officer Dewey and Bad Ass reporter Gale Weathers, it was really just her and the killer in a final show down alone, and she out smarted them EVERY TIME! which makes you ask why did people keep going after her SURELY they'd see after 2 or 3 times, bitch ain't going down she will kill you and she will kill you good !!


It not usual to get the same final girl through out a series, just look at the multitude of final girls in the friday the 13th movies, or nightmare on elm street, even the wrong turn movies have a different Final Girl each movie, i guess it really all does depend upon the actress if she wants to come back or if the director even wants to bring her back, but this is what i most enjoy about the scream movies especailly the first and the fourth one, you look at sidney at the start, she seems to meek and mild like she could never hurt anyone, but forced into it as she is in the end with everyone out for the count she's left to take on two psychotic killers all on her own and pushed through to triumph by the fourth time shes so tough and hard shes not scared of anyone or anything, faced down with killer as she is in the end she make all the right moves and defeats them in the end too, if they ever make a fifth one i would actually like to see them turn sidney into the killer, i mean come on after how many attempts on your life, your bound to snap right !!

but honestly she is strong sincere and tough, your rooting for her all the way to number 4, you ponder if maybe they are ready to kill her off and BAM she triumphs again, its even alluded to in scream 3 that ANYONE can die and ALL BETS ARE OFF, but she still pushes through and thank god cause then we got the delicious morsel that is Scream 4, there are a number of victums that come and go within the scream movies, most that if you watch carefully make the genral mistakes that will ultimatly lead to your death, though sidney in her numerous run in with the masked killer has made a few of these mistakes shes smart enough to also be aware of her surroundings and fixes one mistake with brillance and smarts, though in one point she may run up stairs (which endlessly has me tearing my hair out in these movies) she still counteracts this but barracading herself in her room so the killer cant get in, she uses her COMPUTER to contact 911 instead of screaming pointlessly down a phone.

and on numerous occasions when the killer calls her she doesnt just whimper down the phone she bites back and him, challenging him, and in the final show downs she's witty in her banter with the killer, she shows spunk and i wont back down to you attitude, i really do adore her, so why is she not number 1 you ask, well that takes us to the #2 spot !!!



#2 Jessie Burlingame, Wrong Turn (Played by Eliza Dushku)

Jessie: Carly, look at me, OK? Scott died protecting us. We need to keep ourselves alive, or it was for nothing. OK? We're all in this together, Carl. Come on.
Carly: [whimpering] I want him back.
Jessie: I know, I know. Carl, look at me, OK? Look. We're gonna stay alive. We're gonna get out of this. We're gonna get out of these woods, we're gonna find the police and we're gonna make sure those motherfucks are punished for this. OK?

For a long time the scream movies where like my little slasher security blankets, I'd wanna curl up at night with sidney prescott around knowing if any psychotic killers came a knocking she'd be right there while i laughed in the face of danger, then ran a hid till it went away, but then an odd little movie called wrong turn came out in 2003 and its little draw card for me was Eliza Dushku on the front cover, now i find the Wrong Turn movies tend to have their final girls on the front cover, and let me tell you if you thought sidney prescott was on tough cookie, Jessie is just as bad ass and dealing with cannibals that wanna eat her for their main course !!!

its hard to chose between Jessie and my number 1 final girl, they are both very dear to my heart and i like to think they went on to live happy lives away from Hillbillie Hell !!! Jessie is the orginal wrong turn final girl, and she is by far the less whiney of them, thou their really is only 2 main final girls, and one accidental final girl, but jessie get amped up as the movie goes along, she feel responsible for the death of her friends and refuses to let it all be in vain, she wants these cannibals to pay and pay she does make them.


Bloodied bruised and battered running around unknown woods that the cannibals know like the back of their misshapen deformed hands, shes smart and resourceful like all my final girls should be !!!! she gets hell bent on revenge like i said she feels responsible for the death of her friends, she was the reason they where out in the middle of nowhere in the first place, but instead of this turning her into to some whimpering idiot like her friend Carly becomes, shes pushed into being a fight refuses to go down with out a fight and letting a bunch of backwards Hillbillies win !!!

she has help in the form of Chris who is the stronger one from the beginning i think was the main focus as 'final' charactor but there is something about Jessie by the end she hasnt given up she doesnt sink into disspear when all her friends are dead, she fights along side Chris and fights hard, though if i do remember correctly Chris ultimatly defeats the last Hillbillie standing (or so they think) but she's still just as resourceful as Chris is !!!

she's the kind of final girl that once you've watched Wrong Turn as much as i have you know she's one tough cookie shes beautiful and smart and resourceful she's everything that makes a final girl A FINAL GIRL!!!

And so we come to the number 1 final girl...



#1 - Nina Papas, Wrong Turn 2 (Played by Erica Leerhsen)

Jake: Nice ride. You want to take it for a spin?
Nina Papas: Why not? It's the least this fucked up family owes us.

"Why her" i hear you screaming, possibly turning off your computers in disgust never to return to my page again, well not calm down and hear me out, to be honest with you i didn't like Nina charactor when i first saw Wrong Turn 2, she was rude and mean and harsh, she seemed like a nobody bitch that would get killed off early, but i was wrong (turn).

whilst she does have her pitfalls as a final girl, and most people wouldn't even think about her let alone rate her a mention, she's different, and its only just recently in re watches of number 2 that this movie has become my favourite movie as you'd have read in my previous review (I mean come on Hillbillie wearing a dead guys scalp on his head like a tupee aside) she really is the typical resourcefull final girl, she's tough on the inside whilst she is very fragile and trying to work through alot of things, thinking a stint on a reality show to win enough money to free herself up from the debut her ex-douchbag boyfriend left her in after cheating on her with one of her friends, shes a little broken and shes not all that TYPICAL Final Girl, she's not sweet and innocent and virginal, she's harsh and broken and wrong in all her own ways, she adheres to ME so well because SHE IS ME!!! she's so damaged that she wanted to die but in the face of death with all her fears and insecurities shes IS TOUGH and she IS A FIGHTER !!


She hunted and chased through the woods endlessly, and when she is captured by the Hillbillies they DON'T kill her instead imprison her in a cage like a PET she watches in horror as all her dead friends are chopped up and throwen into a giant pot of human parts stew, she gets knocked out and then strapped into a chair with barb wire to be force fed said human stew !!! she watches and nice guy Jake is tied and jabbed at with a knife, bleeding mildy but not enough to kill him, she is rescued by tough as nails army guy Dale only for him to die saving her and jake, which leaves them left standing, and as Jake gets caught in a final show down between mumma and pappa Hillbillie, Nina makes a run for it, at this point in orginally watching the movie i was sooooooooo mad at her i mean come on she was going so well up until that point and then to just leave nice guy jake like that, but thank god she came barrelling back in and helped Jake over come those damn cannibals to ride of into the sunset in a nice shiney red ferrari.

she seems to scattered to begin with and its hard to understand her with first viewing, its once you KNOW her back story that you start to feel for her and it takes re viewings and watching her in the beginning AND knowing her back story that she makes sense and after a few watches i started to go OMG SHE'S ME !!! she's exactly the kind of final girl i would be, scattered and seeming kinda of weak, most people would look at me just like they look at her and go, she's just a damn rude bitch who will die off quickly, till you find out more about her and you watch her grow and become this new person, story and smart and resourceful the moment she comes barrelling back into save Jake after she's run away you see that look in her eyes, and she's the Final Girl she was always meant to be,

she over comes her weakness and her fear of death, she realizes she wants to live and fights to the damn end to be there and to be alive !! and her co- final pilot in Jake helps to, he does alot of the tough fighting in the end and he does over come the Hillbillies in the end because Nina comes back, but he's greatful of her and understanding of her, even when she is such a bitch to him in the beginning, and this is why i love her so much because SHE IS ME !! and you want her to succeded and over come everything and to be that smart resourcful Final Girl !!!

Side Note: Erica Also stared in The Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 and The Texas Chainsaw Massacure remake (2003)


So there you have it, my low down of my top 5 Final Girls, they are an intergrul part of any slasher movie, that someone you can relate to see yourself in his or her shoes, you cry you laugh and you fight right there with them, thats what makes them FINAL GIRLS !!!

(Honurable Mentions go to: Gale Weathers, Scream 1,2,3,& 4 (Played by Courtney Cox) Though not a main Final Girl she is co-pilot to Sidney Prescotts Final Girl and she is pretty kick ass. Clay Miller, Friday The 13th (2009) (Played by Jarad Padalecki) he's not a Final 'Girl' but he makes a verrrrrrrry suitable Final Boy, plus THOSE ARMS !!! i mean come on. Laurie Strode, Halloween 1&2, H20 and ressurection, (Played by Jamie Lee Curtis) one of the very first slasher flicks, making her one of the very first Final Girls, she is everything that is typical of a final girl !!)

Wednesday 21 November 2012

WRONG TURN = HILLBILLIE HELL !!!!

I ask you, there has got to be a point in a franchise of movies where you go, WTF??!??!!! like how many people are going to keep going to camp crystal lake before they listen to the crazy old kook who tells the 'DON'T' thus brings me of course to one of my favourite movie franchises, WRONG TURN !!! from the first one in 2003 to the fourth movie in 2011 and the soon to b but not yet watched fith to be realesed at the end of this month, i find myself watching and going WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN TO STICK TO YOUR PLANNED ROUTES, yelling at the tv at the idiots running around the woods being chased by hillbillies, hey your in THEIR territory after all, and a Hillbillies gotta eat just like the rest of us, and its a hard life for an in bred freak, nobody loves ya enough lord knows who your mother/brother/sister/father/lover is !!!
 
Honestly by the foourth movie, i was rooting for the hillbillies, the movies just get worse and worse as they make them, and yet i find the endearing they all have that little something, that shine, that same ol same ol, kind of like the blanket you carried around with you everywhere you went, or that stuffed animal that you just could NOT be without, thats what wrong turn is to me, a security blanket of sorts for my horror/slasher fascination, so here i will do a quick review of the four movies as a whole starting with....
 
WRONG TURN (2003)
Chris: Thank you, take care.
Old Man: You're the one who's gonna need to take care.
Ah, original Wrong Turn how i love thee, let me count the ways, sometimes i like to think they made this little gem of a movie JUSTTTT for me, i know im selfish how could it just be for me and not be allowed to be shared with the world, lol sorry i know i'm talking shit right now, but this movie has been a favourite of mine for as long as i can remeber, its nearly 10 years old and its still AMAZING, but before i gush anymore, let me go on by telling you about the story.
 
 
It all starts with mountain climbers in the woods getting killed by an unseen something in the woods, shesh harsh really !!! then we get to meet chris who is on the freeway and gets stuck in a traffic jam, late for a job interview he decideds to take and ulternate rount, e.g a WRONG TURN, dum dum dummmmm, this 'alternate route' is surrounded by thick dense woods on either side and is really just a dirt road, whilst trying to change the CD in his car he takes his eyes of the road and plows straight into a parked car in the middle of the dirt road, i mean seriously even if ya THINK no one else is gonna come along who leaves a damn car stopped in the middle of the road.
 
anyyyyyyway both cars are damaged enough to be unuseable, thus leading 3 of the people from the car Jessie (played by the deliciously gorgeous Eliza Dushku) the sulky Carly and her BF Scott and Chris on a search to find a phone (beacue ya know woods an all no cell reception) and some form of help, Thus leaving beind the other two from the parked car Evan an Francine who stay back and smoke pot and have sex and then of course DIE!!! and from that point on its a race against time for the others who slowly but surely realize somethings not right in them there woods !!!!!
 
i loved this movie from the get go, i'm pretty sure i've seen it a thousand times over and them some. I love Eliza Dushku cause she can act the pants off ANYTHING i mean come on a cheerleader in Bring it on, Rouge slayer in Buffy to bad ass Final Girl in Wrong Turn, you root for these guys to live, especially as the movie goes along and you learn all about Jessie and her friends and why they are out in the woods, that her friends just wanted to cheer her up after a bad break up, only to lead themselves into death and peril, making Jessie feel guilty that she's gotten all her friends killed, but instead of being a whiney put upon final girl, she has a cry and then gets all bad ass im gonna take out these hillbillie freaks if its the last thing i do, Chris kinda ends up a co-final person, thou i dont really think he does much through out the movie, hes tough and he helps Jessie pull it together, and they both fight hard for survival, but i didn't think there was much to him or his charactor, he was just on the way to a job interview, so it doesn't really tug at your heart strings the way Jessie charactor does.
 
 
The first Wrong turn isnt as in your face gory as the rest of them become to be, this one really is trying to tell a creepy story about backwards freaks in the woods, they set up a kill or be killed atmosphere by the end, theres still alot of gross moments, like when the 4 hiking through the woods stumble upon a shack in the middle of the woods and decided to investigate for a phone, they realize they've stumbled upon the Hillbillies home, and whilst they are inside the Hillbillies return, forcing them all to hide within the house and watch as their they left behind at the car are dead, the body of Francine is dumped on a table and the four watch as the hillbillies hack off her leg, its a gut wrenching scene watching as Jessie Carly and Scott are forced to stay quiet and watch their friends be mutilated for food.
 
They escape but not before the Hillbillies spot them, and a chase ensues through the woods, leading to all but Jessie and Chris's deaths, the mood is set well, the stumbling upon the hundreds of cars in a field, that show these freaks have been at it a long time, the climbing into tress and the Hillbillies setting them on fire to get them, hiding beind a water fall, a tender moment between Jessie and Chris after all of Jessies friends are dead and he swears to protect her, getting to the tower only to be burnt down, your on the edge of your seat praying that Jessie and Chris will be the ones to make it out alive, that he keeps his word to her, they finally thwart the Hillbillies in their own home, and walk away stealing the hillbillies van and taking the dirt road back the gas station in the star of the movie, but all is not lost my dear friends for our fun loving hillbillies wont godown that easily and arise for a blood spattered sequeal in...
 
Wrong Turn 2:Dead End (2007)
 
Nina Papas: Birth defects? No shit.
[looking at a barrel of toxic waste that reads may cause birth defects]
This has GOT TO BE my favourite of the franchise so far, theres so much to this one, yet so verrrrrrrrrrry little to it at all, the set up is amazing, a bunch of people are out in the middle of nowhere shooting a new reality show about a post-apocolypic world of survial, i mean come on how cool does that sound all on its own, throw in their real fight for survival and it still sounds good, but throw in my probably tied number one spot for a final girl, one of my all time FAVOURITE Hillbillie moment in any movie EVERRRRRRR and some extra sprinkles of crazy Hillbillies that are really a family just like you and me, only the brother and the sister are also lovers.
 
 
So we start with spoiled actress Kimberly calling her agent and bitching at him for getting her stuck out in the middle of nowhere for a staring role on this new reality show bitching at her agent she cant understand his directions when she comes to what she THINKS is the right way to go and her agent makes a retort about "not being able to afford to take a WRONG TURN" she huffs at him some more turns down the road and procceds to lose cell reception then accidently hits someone, who turns out to be a hungry hillbillie who LITERALLY bites her lower lip and chin CLEAN OFF her face, as she stumbles away and trys to run is SURPRISE another hillbillie appears and cuts her CLEAN IN HALF !!!
 
Then we get to met everyone else, theres all the crew members that form the producer and camera guys ect. The theres the second best charactor in a movie ever the ex marine and host of the show Dale Murphy who is so freaking kick ass, even in his dying moments hes giving shit to the Hillbillies he goes all commando on their asses and theirs a point in the movie that lead to my ALL TIME FAVE HILLBILLIE MOMENT, Dale is hanging upside down and regains conciousness and watches as one of the hillBillies scalps one of the dead crew man and wears his scalp and tuft of attached hair like a tupee (cue me laughing hysterically) the hillbillie turns around and giggles like a crazy person does and proceeds to jab and Dale as he hangs upside all the while He's STILL wearing the scalp like a tupee !!!!!
 
(Seriously just look at him, Tupee of dead guy scalp on his head ! its like a bad line from the song Mr burns sings about making lisa and Barts puppy's into a tuxedo)
but i've gone to far ahead here already, there's also the troupe of contestants including my fave final girl Nina, now at the start nina just did my head in she seemed like a whingy whiny sulky bitch, she was mean to everyone even nice guy Jake who wants to help her out from the start but she blows him off rudely, theres of course the slutty chick Elena who gets naked just because some yelled roll camera, who gives the director/producer head/sexes him up for prime camera time, only to proceed to sunbath nude whilst the young male hillbillie watches her the whole time getting his jollys, till hes discovered by hillbillie sister/girlfriend who gets mad that he's attracted to someone like Elena which leads to the sister/girl friend going absolutly nuts and chopping her to pieces.
 
it goes on like this through out the movie, weird interactions between charactors theres the Lesbian/ex marine Amber the typical douchbag guy Jonesy who wont SHUT UP about anything to do with sex or the female body, but their death scene when they are strung up in trees side by side and Jonsey lets his emotinal side show and Amber finally lets herself warm to him telling him its okay till they are skewered both clean through the eye, then theres the production assistant Mara who ends up taking the spot of kimberly in the game when she doesnt 'show up' (clearly cause she's a tad bit DEAD) Mara tends to go the way of the emotinally sickening female charactor that acts all weak and dismissive and doesnt want to do anything and thinks she's a loser and not good enough, and in the end gets and axe to the head, thou in the beginning you think that it'll be either her or Nina or both of them as final girls, but Mara actually gets killed of quite early on.
 
there is so much going on in this movie really, charactors get whittled down harshly and quite nastily by the Hillbillies, Dale is also in another funny scene where he stumbles on the old man from the gas station in first movie who turns out to actually be the father of ALL the Hillbillies, and Dale ends up blowing him to pieces, hes tough commandery and hell bent on taking out every damn last on of the hillbillies he can, Nina and Jake are the last ones left in the end, they are captured by the Hillbillies Nina is caged like a pet the barb-wired to a chair at dinner time, till Commando Dale comes along blowing up the kids, sending Mummy and Puppa Bear Hillbillies into a rage, mumma bear Hillbillie takes out commando guy with like a bunch of arrows and then its left up to Nina and Jake to kill the hillbillies and escape, stumbling upon and ferrari (the car the Kimberly was driving in the beginning of the movie) and drive out of dodge.
 
I HATED Nina as the final girl to start with, she was mean to Jake she was a bitch to Mara and she basically ignored everyone else, but then she slowly starts unravelling thorught the course of the movie, and then by the end when she goes to run and save herslef and your life YOU BITCH i was starting to like you and you go leave Jake to die !!!!!!! and just when your ready to give up on her she comes charging back in saves Jake and toegther they off Mumma and Pappa Hillbillie and ride off into the sunset, and then when i've been back for numerous re watches of the movie, i realize her charactor has been built harsh but really shes a fighter and she does whatever it takes to survive and she's so used to having to look after herself shes so gaurded against letting anyone else in to help her, espcially some guy like Jake who to Nina was probably just another pretty boy jock !!, and then i realize shes sooooooooooooo like me and that she wont go down without a fight and in the end she will do the right thing, and she does and she survives cause she IS a fighter !!!
 
(Nina (played by Erica Leerhsen) Tough girl i aint gonna take your shit, i'ma gonna f*ck you Hillbillies up best Final girl EVER)
 
(Hillbillie Tupee buy yours now at the nearest backwoods cabin !!!!!)
 
Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead (2009)
 
Tagline: What you dont see will KILL you
 
Thus brings us to number 3, Left for Dead, and here its not just those damn hungry in bred cannibals to look out for !!!, in the opening scenes we see two couples river rafting who find a nice place to stop for the night setting up camp the boys go off to find fire wood, the girls chat a moment one girl calls another girl a slut when she flashes her tits at the camera (bitch has a point !!) slutty girlfriends Bf comes back as bitchy girl wanders into the woods as Slutty girl and boyfriend start to get intimate, hand groping naked boob, boob is skewered by large pointy stick Death ensues, crazy cannibals dance, bitchy girl witnesses all bitchy girls boyfriend gets nice and dead as well as slutty girls boyfriend too ! bitchy girl runs screaming into the woods...
 
 
bringing us to patrol officer Nate, who works in a prison on his last shift cause hes beenaccepted into law school, well shit that right there screams your a dead man no one gets out of a job on their last day alive especially if your in a WRONG TURN movie !! so basically a bunch of fellons are being moved, and all have decided to move them early because theirs whispers throughout the prison of a break out blah blah its really a boring set up, they change the route send nate and another officer with them, drivey drivey along changed route stop at a sheriffs cabin met sherif and his deputy (set them up just to be Hillbillie lunch) we discover the Nate was actually a local and grew up on the area, after a slight rest everyone piles back in the bus and awaaaaay we go, bus is run off the road by a random truck, presumed to be the guys trying to break out Fellon Carlos out, bus crashes and craziness ensues.
 
This movie is honestly SHIT it doesnt get good reviews and its honestly bad if you want to watch a well put together movie with a well written script, most of the movie is at night so its dark alot of the time, so it was even hard for me to get good screen caps from the movie, there is honestly not great plot to this movie, but you know what i love about it, it pits some bad assss criminals/murders against some crazy Hillbillies !!! Carlos is bossy and nasty and will kill you in and instant he shots Nates friend and fellow officer in the head point blank, they find and old OLD OLLLLLD security truck FULLLL of cash (why the Hillbillies just didnt take the money and buy a big ass mansion and REAL food and leave use peeps alone is beyond me !!!) so carlos makes everyone take a bag each, theres the sympythetic criminal who is adment right till the very end he didnt kill that guy, theres the under cover officer who gets the front of his face chopped off by a HUGEEEEE axe, and then theres bitchy girl who literally runs into Nate and said criminals !!! Hazaaah she survived, and she's actually not that bitchy, she gets put through the ringer with the criminals who wanna basically rape and kill her themselves, but she stays hard and sticks by Nate.
 
honestly my fave moments of this movie really are the criminals agaisnt the Hillbillies they fight just as hard and mean as the Hillbillies but there really isnt ANYTHING else of worth in this movie, charactors are so so, bitchy girl isnt so bad by the end and you really are rooting for Nate to get away, but seriously there are only TWO Hillbillies in this movie against like 6 criminals Two gaurds and one girl thats managed to survive hiding in the woods till dark, i mean COME ON the Criminals over power the young Hillbillie and behead him for the other guy to find, leading him to lose his shit cause they've killed his son, theres a good fight moment between last standing Hillbillie and Criminal mastermind Carlos they fight it out hard but Hillbillie wins in the end, basically it take Nate and Bitchy girl (i should probably stop calling her bitchy girl, so Alex) to basically run last HillBillie off the road after stealing his truck then blowing him up and collapsing on the side of the road.
 
thinking thats the ending i'm like K, cool, then it flashes to Nate opening up the truck full of money obviously there to grab the money and then the last fellon standing who from the beginning claimed he was innocent appears behind him and SHOOTS NATE IN THE BACK WITH A BOW AND ARROW i'm like WTF??!!??!!! that sucks ! then the camera pans to the back of shit head Fellon guy (sorry but i made at him by this point) and someones feet steps into view of the camera and a blood cover weapon of some kind dropping to his side and THEN movie ends, (so basically so called NICE criminal guy kills nate, because nate came back for the money and so did douchebag criminal guy, but to no ones real surprise all the Hillbillies AREN'T really DEAD!!)
 
Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011)
 
Tagline: These Hillbillies are going crazy
 
and so here we have come, to the last (or actually not so last) WRONG TURN, the typical kind of movie that occurs at this point is well, the beginning, i mean the title says it all, Bloody Beginnings !! yes number 4 takes us back to where it alllll begun, the orginonal Hillbillies from the first movie are back, and younger and prettier !!! i kid, I kid. they are youny, but they are STILLLLLL uglyyyyyy they are locked up in the looney tunes bin !! aka the insane Asylum !!! (deem Bitches DOOO be crazy, well the hillbillies do anyway) they're young and still very hungry so one of them chews off and eats his own fingers, fun times !!!
 
(Just hanging around, another day on the job for the crazy's doctor)
 
Basically this is the worst movie of them all, but its good soild idiotic fun, said Hillbillies escape and kill their doctor (as above) and basically the Loony tunes go nuts killing all the doctors and nurses and then we cut to i have no idea how many months weeks years later, bunch of horny douche baggy collage kids taking a trip on winter break to some douchy heads cabin in the middle of winter, on jet ski thingys in the snow, they OH HELLLL NO, take a WRONG TURN (seriously really i mean COME ON) end up cold and hungry stumble across said abadoned asylum place thingy wander casually in, proceed to turn on the power build a fire, have random nudity and sex, sleep in hospital beds, wander off at night and get killed blah blah blah.
 
like number 3, number 4 is just as bad, probably worse, but its good soild hack and slash and eat fun !!! i really think its lucky that all the tasty looking morsles of human flesh are shallow douch bags and idiots, cause you reallllllly dont care that they all die, and seriously THEY ALL DIE cause you couldn't kill them because hello its CALLED bloody beginnings !!! so the Hillbillies have to survive in order to be around to KILL KILL KILL in the orgional wrong turn !!! so making the charactors as shollow as a wading pool helped with this move a little bit, by the end of the movie i was honestly rooting for the hillbillies to get their lunch on!!!
 
i cannot really say much about this movie, they play around in a hospital have wheel chair races wander off on their own run out of the hospital when their friend is grusomely beheaded in front of them discover hillbillies have disconnected their jet ski thingys run BACK INTO the hospital after one of the girls decides she the strongest skier and shall hike through the woods to help, only to freeze to death on a tree just METRES from the road HARSSSSSSSSSSH they run around the hospital into the basement to arm themselves with sharp things to fight back, i dont think they even HURT the Hillbillies all the while there is like at least 8 or 9 of them against three crazies i mean really they lock the hillbillies back in the EXACT cell they broke out from in the first place the "would be final girl if was just another WRONG TURN movie and not a tale of beginnings" shows the Hillbillies 'mercy' when they others wanna torch them good and cripsy only for the said crazies to escape AGAIN an kill the last remaining few, climaxing in the 'Final girl' and another girl escaping on one of the jet ski thingys only to drive straight into wire and get their head chopped CLEAN OFF!!
 
 
Stupidty after stupidty abounds in number 4 it'll make you laugh and make you cry and then make you howl with laughter and yell "go Hillbillies GO GO" its good for a single watch to 'see' how it all began, and then laugh lots at the idiot choices everyone makes, the acting is terrible and its no where near what the first wrong turn was and is.
 
So there you have it, 4 Wrong turns and still NO ONE HAS LEARNT cause number 5 is to be released at the end of this month, so i shall grab me up a copy and away i watch soon enough. from number 2 the violence an death essculates to epic proportions theres lost of literal blood guts and gore spilling all over the place, people choped in havles and threes and cooked and stewed and eaten, so i warn you its not for people of weak hearts and stomaches, it really does push the boundires of disguting, and the acting and story lines just get worse and worse as each one comes out.
but i recommended them all a watch especially in a wrong turn marathon, bring some freinds over admire the simplicity and brilliantness of the first enjoy the greatness of 2 (Hillbillie Tupee, need i say more) enjoy the small Criminal Vs Hillbillie moments in number 3 and laugh and shake your head in WTF really at number 4 (then cheer for the Hillbillies in the end) have fun with it and remember
 
WRONG TURN = HILLBILLIE HELL!!!!!!